Men

MEN

When I was young,

I used to
Watch behind the curtains
As men walked up and down the street.
Wino men, old men.
Young men sharp as mustard.
See them.
Men are always
Going somewhere.
They knew I was there.
Fifteen Years old and starving for them.
Under my window, they would pauses,
Their shoulders high like the
Breasts of a young girl,
Jacket tails slapping over
Those behinds,Men.
One day they hold you in the
Palms of their hands, gentle, as if you
Were the last raw egg in the world.
Then
They tighten up.
Just a little.
TheFirst squeeze is nice.
A quick hug.
Soft into your defenselessness.
A littleMore.
The hurt begins.
Wrench out a
Smile that slides around the fear.
When the
Air disappears,
Your mind pops,
exploding fiercely,
briefly,
Like the head of a kitchen match.
Shattered.
It is your juice
That runs down their legs.
Staining their shoes.
When the earth rights itself again,
And taste tries to return to the tongue,
Your body has slammed shut.
Forever.
No keys exist.
Then the window draws full upon
Your mind.
There, just beyond
The sway of curtains, men walk.
Knowing something.
Going someplace.
But this time, I will simply
Stand and watch.
Maybe.

Maya Angelou

Joyeux anniversaire

Passe une tres tres bonne annee !

(Merci David)



Hold within your arms a sun

And let it smile and wish you well.

Play with it, and when you're done,

Put it where you'll never tell.

Your sun will smile just for you,

Being yours, and yours alone,

Inside your palace, out of view,

Resting in a place unknown.

The sun I wish for you is bright,

Happy doing what suns will:Daring to hold off the night

As loves and dreams your future fill,

Your cares caress and sorrows still.

Spot the grammatical errors!

I wish I could slang him for his grammatical errors*sigh*

As we know, XXX is a experience person on the transmissions. He studies the documents deeply and the installation! He cannot accept small mistake even the tape error! on the documentation, otherwise the document will be rejected. xxx and I have met him regarding the documentation issue.

He comment and requested as shown below:

1.) Formatting issue -

The Site A status and information must be lower side band then follow by upper side band as site B including Site survey information, Drawing layout, Photo and ATP.

2.) Paper quality.

3.) Layout issue -

The propose antenna, feeder run and IDU position drawing must teally to the photo taken at site before and after the installation.
- The feeder length must indicate at all the position. for example: feeder length count from antenna position to IDU position.
- The tower length position must indicate: A, B, C and D. For example: (Drawing Top-view) If the North position facing to top, the A indication is located at the top of the right-hand side tower -leg (clockwise).

4.) Factory test result on the microwave equipment.

5.) All the test result must attach to the document such:

- Frequency scanning spectrum result.
- AGC flat-fit margin result.
- BER performance result.
- Softwave configuration.

6.) Signature on the document process follows the table contents and not compile together.

7.) He prefers the BER performance result by using the original paper from Digital transmissions analyzer and not using A4 generated from soft-wave.

Notice: We cannot fix a target or deadline to Sub-cons as similar like Node-B because we need to submit one example completed document as according to (^O^) standard. Let him comment on the PDH documentation until he feels that our PDH document satisfactorily. If the PDH document approved by XXX. We must let him to sign on the confirmation on the PDH format (acknowledgment) to prevent of him to propose new ideas on the documents format in future.

Action : After everything is confirm then we will start to fix a target or deadline to sub-cons for the PDH submissions

***this is a sign that I am too bored at work***

Love - Overrated?

Love

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.
And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran

Work

I just came out of the team meeting. It had been cancelled twice since everybody was busy with their own activities i.e : meeting the customers, de tour to somewhere else on the way to meeting, calling in sick etc. We finally managed to attend the meeting though I was like 15mins late. It all started with my- so- called -helper- who- keeps- sending-emails -with -lots- of -grammatical- errors (which I cannot tolerate any longer) had made an appointment with the subcon.I was not aware of his appointment with them and what made it worst? He pretended that he knew everything but he wasn't and I ended up having to explain everything to them. The frosting on the cake? My team mates let me sat next to my boss which meant that I would have to nod and to show lots of interest though the agendas were mainly shite. The boss wished us Happy New Year then the resolutions and objectives of the team. He then appointed some of us to lead a weekly meeting which I supposed was unnecessary since we always have discussion over coffee at 4pm daily hahaha. The assignment for the next meeting : a 300 words essay on our objectives and missions for 2007. Interesting huh? Now would anybody want to volunteer to do my part? LOL

Books

Am reading 3 books simultaneously - purification of heart, lissey's story and american gods. The last book that I read from Stephen King was black house. Lissey's story very much reminded me why I fell in love with his writing when i was in form 1. get a copy of the comic tragedy or the tragedy comic by neil gaiman i suppose you'll be hooked with his writing.

Life

Nothing much going on

Mind your languange

Email received today

Since you are committed the deadline to complete 10 pending documentation.

I have lock in to the Database as a record.

Be aware, the serious action will be taking if you are not complete as according to the deadline.
Please call me immediately if you facing any problem during the process of documentation.

Once again, the deadline of submission is 11-01-2007.

**Man,I should just shoot the sender**

Bonne et heureuse annee!!!!

LOVE HURTS - INCUBUS

Tonight we drink to youth& holding fast to truth.
(I don’t want to lose what I had as a boy.)
My heart still has a beat
but love is now a feat
(as common as a cold day in LA.)

Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder/is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?
Love hurts
but sometimes it’s a good hurt & it feels like I’m alive.
Love sings
when it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart & try me,
‘cause without love I won’t survive.

I’m fettered & abused
I stand naked & accused.
(should I surface this one man submarine?)
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth!
(I’ll never lose what I had as a boy.)
Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder
is there a spell that I am under/keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts…
but sometimes it’s a good hurt & it feels like I’m alive.
Love sings
when it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart & try me,
‘cause without love I won’t survive.

be like a bear with a sore head

I look like Takeshi Kaneshiro in this pic when in a meeting

I suppose it might be a bit early to review about my life in 2006 since we are still in week 50. I am getting used to using week instead of days or months since I started to forecast my activities at work on weekly basis.

Work

As always, passionless. Everybody is behind my back even the guy who is supposed to support me in my mission to reach the management target. I don’t know how it happened but I ended up having to support him instead. I almost bite his head off when he kept asking me every half an hour if I could release 100 docs in 2 weeks. I kept telling him that it’d be difficult to do so since we have to push lots of people but it’s like banging your head against a brick wall.

Movies

OSS 117

2 Thumbs Up! I actually watched it after having a great time seeing Daniel Craig in James Bond. What I can say is this: after seeing OSS117 one wouldn’t want to watch James Bond anymore, literally.

Wedding Crashers

Total craps but what the heck? It’s a feel good movie anyway.

Wedding Date

Funny and sad, as usual.

I almost watched My Best Friend’s Wedding. If not I’d be watching 3 movies with the word wedding in it back to back. Muahahahahhahhahahahahahahah.

Family

Mum had her cataract removed last week. Another nites spent in the hospital and god knows how glad I was when mum was discharged. It was a very hectic weekend actually. I went over for a short holiday then I rushed back to take care of Mum. She was afraid that I couldn’t make it as Gebob was sick and Kojeh was having her exam. But hey, one got to what one’s got to do. Mum was calmer this time compared to her first time. She didn’t cry anymore and could casually mention to other patients about Abah and how he died.

Misc

As mad as a hatter with someone that I definitely couldn’t afford to. I just don’t know what to do with myself.


p/s : my posting is getting shorter these days..i blame it on my boss, AdF.The guy with the worst hairdo in the whole company

"Anna-Molly"

A cloud hangs over,

It's a city by the sea,

I watch the ships pass and wonder if she might be,

Out there and sober as a well for loneliness,

Please do persist girl its time we met and made, a mess

I picture your face in the back of my eyes,

A fire in the attic a proof of the prize,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Doo doo doo doo do doo doo doo doo doo

A cloud hangs over,

And mutes my happiness,

A thousand ships couldn't send me back from distress,

Wish you were here,

I'm a wounded satellite,

I need you now put me back together make me right

I picture your face in the back of my eyes a fire in the attic a proof of the prize,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

I'm calling your name up into the air

Not one of the others could ever compare!

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Wait there is a light,

There is a fire illuminated attic,

Fate or something better I could care less,

Just stay with me a while,

Wait there is a light, there is a fire defragmenting the attic,

Fate or something better I could care less,

Just stay with me a while

I picture your face in the back of my eyes a fire in the attic a proof of the prize,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

I'm calling your name up into the air.Not one of the others could ever compare!

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly!

Bonjour Tristesse

Brad Pitt in Babel

Am busy like hell but still I need to write something. November is definitely the month of sadness for me. Lots of things happened in November i.e. my beloved abah (may god bless his soul) passed away on 17 November and of course I was born in November years ago.

Time does fly. It’s already two years but it feels like yesterday. His love will always be felt by those that knew him. My family still talk about him in present tense as if he was still alive. I suppose we’d still talk in that way in many years to come.

Al- Fatihah.

Let's move on to the happier notes, shall we?

Movies

I have seen lots of movies lately, either in DVD’s or in the cinema itself.

Death Note

Death Note is highly recommended and believe me, you don’t need to be the reader of it’s manga to understand what the heck is death note. I suppose the trailer shown on TV doesn’t truly justify the movie. A few friends were fooled by the trailer and they thought that it is a horror movie. For a better review on this movie, read here: http://tontonfilem.blog-city.com/

Cinta

Thanks to Fadz for the invitation to Cinta’s premiere. Like lots of other people wrote down in their blog, Cinta definitely promises something else. I personally like the performances of Rashidi Ishak, Pierre Andre, Sh Amani and her mom, Fatimah Abu Bakar and last but not least Dato’ Rahim Razali. They have many songs in it but the one that I like the most is by Anuar Zain. Man, I do hope that he’d come out with a new album sooooooooon!

Go and see for yourself! And please don’t forget your hanky though.

p/s : Piere Andre rawkz! :P

"Te Busqué"(feat. Juanes)

I've been high I've been low
I've been fast I've been slow
I've had nowhere to go
Missed the bus missed the show
I've been down on my luck
I've felt like giving up
My life locked in a trunk
When it hurt way too much
I needed a reason to live
Some love inside me to give
I couldn't rest I had to keep on searching

Te busqué debajo de las piedras y no te encontré
En la mañana fría y en la noche te busqué
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tú llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazón
Haciéndome sentir vivo otra vez.

I've been too sad to speak and too tired to eat
Been too lonely to sing the devil cut off my wings
I've been hurt by my past but I feel the future
In my dreams and it lasts I wake up I'm not sure
I wanted to find the light something just didn't feel right
I needed an answer to end all my searching
I look in the mirror the picture's getting clearer
I wanna be myself but does the world really need her
I ache for this earthI stopped going to church
See God in the trees makes me fall to my knees
My depression keeps building like a cup overfilling
My heart so rigid I keep it in the fridge
It hurts so bad that I can't dry my eyes
Cuz they keep on refillin' with the tears that I cry...

Untuk lelaki yang ku kasihi

Tak Sepadan

Aku kira: Beginilah nanti jadinya
Kau kawin,beranak dan berbahagia
Sedang aku mengembara serupa Ahasveros.

Dikutuk-sumpahi Eros
Aku merangkaki dinding buta
Tak satu juga pintu terbuka

Jadi baik juga kita padami
Unggunan api ini
Karena kau tidak 'kan apa apa
Aku terpanggang tinggal rangka

Chairil Anwar
Feb 1943

In Raya Mode

since i don't feel like working, i utilised my working hours by doing this quiz. Folks, don't do this at work! :P

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

Letter to self

Hi self, hope you’re doing just fine. But I could sense that you’re feeling a bit under the weather. Maybe you should give your brain a day off from thinking all about you and people around you as well. You’d feel much better after doing that.

I know what’s bothering you the most. You always think about relationships. I know, I know. You’re not worry about being single or whatever, not even after reading how dangerous it is to be single in CLEO. You wonder why it is so hard to maintain a good relationship with your colleagues, old and new ones as well as your friends from school, college and social rings. You wonder why only a few people keep in touch with you after you left the school or department, right? Maybe because you don’t have any benefits for them or perhaps they are sick and tired of you. Who knows what they really think. So let’s move on, shall we?

The old friend that suddenly called you up after 10 years did stir up your emotions a little bit, didn’t it? I know that you were stunned when she asked why you never kept in touch with her. She used to be a good friend but people change. You just couldn’t tell her that, right? Don’t tell me that you feel inferior upon knowing that she’s married to the son of a very successful businessman, don’t you? I know that you thought of blasting her off to the Neptune when you told her the name of your company and she thought that you assemble the hand phone. She never changed it seems, still thought that no one could ever go above her. It’s not hard to figure out why you don’t want to have any connections wit her. Then another phone call from someone that you knew from your childhood brought back the memories of you and your dad. Move on self! Your dad had past away for 2 years now. Even your mum could get over him sooner than you thought of.

Have you finished up the resolutions for your birthday? I found out that one of the resolutions that you have is to shortlist your circle of friends. Are you planning to dump some of your friends? A piece of advice: Just dump those that call you up once a year with either of these reasons: don’t forget the present. My birthday is next week or my gf/bf dumped me. I need someone to talk to!

You happened to see your favourite someone this weekend I heard. Did you have a great time together? Hey what’s with the sulky face? Well, you know how things work with you two. Just go with the flow. Besides, you learn some new things about yourself and him as well every time you guys meet. Don’t be so selfish. He needs supports and you know exactly what it feels like to be trapped in such situation. You know best how to overcome it and I believe that it’d mean a lot to him if you could try your best to soothe him rather than letting him wanders around like a mentally sick person. Just forget that he ever said that you could be as annoying as you could be. This is the least that you can do I reckon.


It’s Monday morning and you don’t feel like going to work tomorrow, don’t you? Well, it’s kind of hard to say any good things about going to work. I know you feel a bit tense, especially when you are caught up in the bitter relationship with the witch secretary and the moron assistant. I couldn’t stop laughing when your face changed its colour upon hearing the answer from the moron assistant when you told her that the printer ran out of paper and you had to print out your reports because your boss needed them urgently. I know that you almost exploded when you heard her reply. “Then what should I do?”. Man, that was enough to make your blood pressure go sky high. What’s with Thursday the stationery day? It is the most ridiculous thing ever. What if you need to use a marker for your presentation on Monday? Do you still need to wait for Thursday? Sheesh! That’s really a pain in the ass, isn’t it? The best reason that I could come up with is that they are hired to make people’s life miserable. You know that you’re not the only person who has to face the stupid acts. Cheer up self! Walk with your chin up and pretend that you see no evil, hear no evil and talk to no evil.

What’s with the competition that a girlfriend wanted to have with you? She just couldn’t resist the temptation to compete in everything, couldn’t she? Who got the best job (I guess you both got a lousy job hahah), the highest pay, the best boyfriend (you both are draw in this, thank god. No heart feeling aye?). The competition would go on and on and on in each and every things. I couldn’t say much on this because I know she won’t quit. Just let her race with her own self, shall we?

It has been two agonizing years. Time does fly and maybe soon we can see a pink pig flying over your car. Do you remember how dreadful it was for you to live before? You lost your dad and you were jobless and no one knew about it but you and a few friends. I just couldn’t forget the last trip to granny’s house when dad told your granny that he was relieved that you had a job and lived well. What he didn’t know that time was that you quit your job a week before. Dad would be frustrated if he knew it, wouldn’t he? Let’s move ahead. The dark ages had gone. You finally got a decent job and slowly building up your life. Perhaps you’d be a better person after what you have went through.


Life is hard isn’t it? I know that you keep thinking about your dad lately. You know that you couldn’t tell your mum how difficult it is to build your life from scratch and the only person that could really understand you was your dad. It’s normal to feel like a lost puppy but hey you got me. You could always confide in me. You know how much I love you, my one and only self.

This song keeps playing in my head

Hate Me I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my headThey crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bedDropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alonePlaying movies in my head that make a porno feel like homeThere's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brainAn ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted spaceHate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youI'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me withThe one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch againIn a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at nightWhile I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fightYou never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hateYou made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to takeSo I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mindAnd do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behindHate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youAnd with a sad heart I say bye to you and waveKicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had madeAnd like a baby boy I never was a manUntil I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my handAnd then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to beAnd then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"Hate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for you

The 9th day of Ramadhan

All Good Things (Come To An End) - Nelly Furtado

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

A very peaceful Ramadhan

I was supposed to reach this certain target for my new department. Unfortunately, the so called experienced sub-cons had blown up my chance to prove my capability to my new boss. So what did I do to make me feel good? I blog :P

Since Faye had brought up the jeepers creepers name, then I suppose I should write an ode to her.

O jeepers creepers
You’re so hot like peppers
Your skirt is short just like strippers

O jeepers creepers
You like to pretend like you have Alzheimer’s
And you make us a little bonkers

O jeepers creepers
I wish I have a team of archers
But what I have is only a pair of bluchers

O jeepers creepers
You think you’re a charmer
But in fact only chiggers

I know if I start to complain more about the girls in my company, someone would say that I’m weird. hahahahahahah

The fasting is doing just fine. But since the first day, I only have 4 hours sleep and eat only once a day. Perhaps my body is still adjusting or most probably I become too tense and lost my appetite. Hopefully things will get better when I go back to see my family this weekend.

Since I drive to work for the past 2 months, I feel like my life is at stake every time I’m on the road. I saw an ads at the back of the metrobus : Guarantee to pass the driving exams! If based on the way the driver drove the bus, I think the company should be held responsible for ensuring that those bad drivers pass the exams and became the road bullies.

I bought a manga : museum of terror. I finished it up in one seating. My reading activity had actually stopped since I didn’t use the public transportation any longer. Sort of miss the rituals though

Everyone Deserves to Be Happy

pic courtesy of http://zforzzz.fotopages.com/


You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silent screaming blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

The faces that always make me want to go home.

The fasting month started quite well for me. As my creepy housemate went back to her hometown, I had the house for myself. Man, it was not easy to go through the first day of Ramadhan. As early as 2pm I could smelt the cooking from the neighbours. Sheesh! It reminded me of my parents when it came to the first day of Ramadhan, they both would always plan ahead on the menu days before the Ramadhan started. It was always fun in the house, especially when Abah volunteered to cook. He’d always argued with Mak about the ingredients and all while the three of us just sit back and relax, waiting for the neighbours to come over to exchange some of the cuisine.

These 2 pictures are the view from my new cubicle. The annoying guy in my previous posting had moved over to the new office. So, I took over his place. I thought I could get some peace here but obviously not.Too many people crammed into my cubicle this morning and this one particular guy would kept insisting on using my deskphone while he could use his mobile had really got my nerves.Man,it's only the second day of Ramadhan but I got a hunch that it's not going to be easy hahahahaha...

This picture was taken about a month ago in Bukit Genting,Penang. I had a lovely dinner with my fave someone. The food was great and the scenery was really breath taking.

untitled

How’s life treating you?

It’s been a while since I last updated my blog. I suppose that I’m on the verge of burning out. I have worked in the project for 3 months and I’ve been in the company for 1 year now. Shessh! How time flies.

Good News

Got a new position which is permanent. Man, I have changed my job 3 times in 9 months! Should have started this week but since the current boss is reluctant to let me go to the new department in such a short notice, I could only move in the first week of October.Sheesh!

I got a lot of new people who joined in my current department but none of them would be interesting enough to hang out with, not that I’m that interesting though haha. One of them said to me today, I suppose you should start smoking. It’d not only keep your body in shape but the most important thing is you could release your tension. Yeah right! Well, I reckon that I wouldn’t need to waste my money on cigarettes since I am an official second hand smoker. Perhaps, I should form a club for the active second hand smokers so that we could share some tips on how to lose the smell of smokes from your shirts etc.

I kind of oppose the idea of putting me in the adjacent cubicle with my boss’s secretary. It is tad boring not only because the boss would always come to see her but also because in the next cubicle is the planner who has a very negative aura. He would always complain on anything and everything and the good news is he’s a perfectionist. The other day I had to prepare the slides for my boss and as usual I put on some ‘cosmetics’ on my graphs and the figures so that it’d look smashing. What happened was that he called me up at 9pm while I was doing my grocery and said that all the figures were wrong and he wanted to change them. For god sake, I already mentioned in my email that the slides had too much make-up on, which was exactly like tepung gomak or at least a bit like Chinese opera in some ways. I was not certain which part of the sentence that he couldn’t understand. He insisted on changing them though the meeting was scheduled on the very next afternoon and it ended up that he didn’t have much time to finish them all. And yes! The boss was really pissed off. Good for him.

Lunch break could be a mind-numbing activity lately as I have a new companion who loves to talk about nothing else but work and fish. It’d either be about my-job-is-worse-than-you-and-you-wouldn’t-understand-how-shitty-my-job-is-since-no-matter-how-bad-thing-is-for-you-mine-would-still-be-the-worst or I-have-the-most-fish-compared to others.

GADIS JALAN BURMAH

Written by Shahredza Minhat directed by David Lim performed by Soefira Jaafar
In Gadis Jalan Burmah, Kartini Shuib, an unmarried Malay woman, who's about to "celebrate" her 42nd birthday, tells us about her attempts in trying to find her Mr. Right.
(Performance will be in English and Malay)
Stor Teater DBP, Bangunan Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka
12 Sept (Preview ), 13-16, 18-23 Sept @8.30pm
17 Sept (Sunday ) 3pm only
Admission by donation:
RM22 ( Adults), RM17 (Students ), RM15 (Preview night only )
For info and reservation, please contact 016.2022.057
Synopsis
The world keeps telling her that she is running out of time. However, 42-year-old Kartini Shuib thinks otherwise.

So on her birthday, while trying to bake her own birthday cake, she contemplates whether or not to go out with Kassim Rahman, an insurance salesman, as suggested by her mother. But then, memories of a Chinese pilot, a Doktor Haiwan from UPM, an American expat and her Mak Long Piah among others return to haunt her. What does it all mean? Or does it mean nothing, and that the world is actually right – that she is running out of time?

Performed with a delightful mix of colloquial English and BM, this one woman comedy marks the second "English" play written by Shahredza Minhat, the first being the critically acclaimed "Toast!", which the Malay Mail described as "one of those rare gems that seemingly come out of nowhere".

Sinopsis
Semua orang cakap Kartini Shuib dah 'takdak' time! Tapi Kartini Shuib, tak pernah peduli pun.
Sampailah ke harijadinya yang ke - 42, beliau telah didesak oleh ibunya untuk keluar berpacaran dengan Kassim Rahman, seorang jurujual insurans. Fikirannya mula bercelaru, apa lagi, beliau terus dengan gigih cuba membuat kek harijadi 'special' untuk menenangkan jiwanya. Namun, benaknya yang serabut itu kemudian didatangi memori-memori lama, seorang juruterbang berbangsa Cina, seorang doktor haiwan lulusan UPM, seorang ekspatriat dari Amerika, Mak Long Piah dan geng antara lain, yang kesemuanya kembali menghantui. Siapa hantui siapa sebenarnya? Apa maksud kedatangan mereka? Atau sememangnya semua tidak membawa sebarang maksud.
Atau mungkin betul apa semua orang cakap - memang Kartini Shuib sudah 'takdak' time!
Gadis Jalan Burmah – sebuah monolog yang pastinya mencuit hati. Dipersembahkan dalam Bahasa Inggeris dan Bahasa Melayu.

For more info: www.dramalab.com.my


Review will be posted soon!

A new lease of life

Words just get in the way

I had too many news for the past 2 weeks. But the most important, the most gigantic, the most bizarre of it all would be my housemate is moving out in a month. But what made it worst? She only told me about it after I bought the router, which she had agreed upon. Oh yes weirdo! I have a money-printing factory in Perak. Duh!

So far, I have decided not to find any new housemates. Since my working hour is now from 7am till late, it’d be best not to have anyone in the house. It’d be fun to come home, open up the door, and take off your shoes and head straight to lie down in front of the TV in the living room! But my decisions will definitely depend on my budget for the next 11 months. The project that I’m working on is scheduled for 3 years but my contract is for 1 year only since the 1st year is the most crucial phase of all. We’ll see how it goes.

Kimutaku and friends

Kimu now lives with 3 other friends from the unknown species. I went back to my hometown a few weeks ago for 2 days and what did I found when I came back? A fish corpse or whatever you call them. I suppose kimu and the gang were too hungry that they decided to eat the weakest link. After that day, I never look at them the same way before. I mean, who would have thought, well, I would never have thought that they would eat each other. They are fish for god sake! If cats, then it’d be a different story.

Anyway, they are fine and live healthily. I’m now counting the days for the third month now. Hopefully none would be killed anymore.


Wangi jadi saksi

And to kill you Jebat,mybrother,is just not me - excerpts from wangi jadi saksi

Siapa itu Wangi? LRT Dang Wangi? Muahahahaha

With big names like Khalid Salleh, Khir Rahman, Dato’ Rahim Razali and Vanidah Imran in this theater, one would make a big mistake not to catch it. Got the invitation from Nazrul and I missed it due to the meeting that started at 7pm (my boss likes to have the team meeting at 7pm which means that one needs to run away from the office at 6pm sharp if one already have an appointment with friends so that the boss would schedule the meeting tomorrow) and ended at 8.30pm. But I was invited by Fadz to watch it on Friday and boy I was glad that I got out early and the boss missed me.

In Wangi Jadi Saksi we have Wangi, as Jebat's lover that have to deal with the truth behind the murder of Jebat.Khalid Salleh was outstanding as Pateh Kerma Wijaya. Vanidah Imran has definitely proved her capabilities to shine as perempuan melayu terakhir not only in the movie with the same title but in wangi jadi saksi too. Well, I don’t know how to review it with all the technical terms and metaphors, so on and so forth, and I shall leave that to Fadz but I strongly believe that this theater should be staged in Istana Budaya after this. I think I had enough of musical theatre there this year.

Do all the donkeywork, ladies!

It’s almost 2 months now that I’m involved in the project. It’s kind of interesting but one thing for sure; the downside of it would be the long hours. I have started with the new working hours, 7am till late which most of the times at midnight for almost 2 weeks now. After the 6th days my body just refused to work and I decided to come home at 5pm and I slept from 6pm until 5am the next day.

It was hard at first to get up every morning at 5am and get to work at 6.30am. After a while it is kind of cool because there’s no traffic and you when you get to the office it is all but peace and quiet. But good things wouldn’t last for long. There’s one loud soul who calls me honey that comes to the office at 7.30am every morning that always manage to ruin my day. How I wish I could just make myself invisible!

The works is same-o-same-o but the office mates are not as interesting as those in my previous department. Everyone seems to be glued to their workspace and not that friendly. Even worst I have 2 secretaries and 1 assistant that always fight with each other and I would have too much of dramas in one day. One is the miss-know-it all, one is I-don’t-know-how-to-do-my-work-but-I-couldn't-care-less-as-long-as-my-boss-loves-me and the last one is the everyone-got-big-pays-but-I-have-to-do-all-the-shitty-jobs-and-will-complaint-everything-to-kekure. Enough said.

2 data entry clerks that do all the boring jobs for me come to work at 9.30am, leaves at 6pm and will take 2 hours break on every Friday annoys me as much. I gave one of them some data that needed to be recorded on that very day since I have to send in the report the next day. And guess what? She just left early because I’m married and my husband’s waiting for me. I would die of heart attacks if this should continue for one year.

With all the attacks and holocausts in the MidEast lately, it reminds me of the book We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With our Family. In the book it was said that The US refused to use the word genocide to address the situation in Rwanda though thousands of people had been killed.

Based on that, I suppose the word attacks is used instead of war because we are in denial. Is it that hard to admit that there is another war going on?

Frequently asked questions

In everyday life, we need to communicate with other humans as well as some bollocks and a few aliens that cross our path. During the daily verbal communications, we are repeatedly asked with the same questions over and over again that sometimes you wish that you could put a spell on the person and make her mouth disappears. For instance, when we read the tabloid magazine we could always see that there’d be quite a lot of morons that happened to be journalists and ask the same artist the same questions over and over again. Thus we bound to read the same facts about the same artist in different magazines i.e. what’s his favourite colour and what’s his favourite food.

So here are some FAQs and a few statements that I have to answer or argue when people either get to know that I work in the company that I’m working in now or my interests. The questions and answers provided by no means should be classified as racism statements.

Is it true that French smell like fish? (This happens to be the most famous questions asked especially by those who happened to have a bad experience in the bus or lrt with the tourists)

What I know of is that they are not so fond of seafood. While there would be one or two that would smell like stinky socks even from meters away, I should say that in general they smell ok. With an exception of a few that smell really nice with their after-shave and perfume.

Which one is better in the look department: French, Spanish or Italian? (Asked by a few girls who love to watch telenovela on TV)

As for today, I should say that it’s definitely Spanish (based on the latest addition in my former department) LOL. One thing for sure the French and the Italian that I familiar with really know how to choose good chocolates!

French have the best pick up lines, right?

For this question, I definitely don’t have any ideas since none of them have ever tried to pick me up. LOL

How could you concentrate on your work while you are surrounded with people who have a very sexy accent?

Sexy? Iz diz for rrreal? I can’t really tell. But when I joined the department I wish I could have a translator because I hardly understand them. Thank god that I’m still in one piece!

How do you kill the fish?

I just don’t know. Like my first experience with Norlia and Ghani, I happened to overfeed them and they ended up death with the sin of gluttony. The rest of them just died without any scientific explanations. Maybe I should call Grissom from the CSI to help me out. But then it’d be hard since most of them had been flushed down the toilet!

Why do you have more than 3 pairs of shoes?

I need 1 shoes for my lazy days, 1 shoes for my weekends, 1 sneakers for exercising which I don’t use that much though I always remind myself to. Come to think of it, I know deep down I want to be the next Imelda Marcos.

How could you still live with your weird housemate?

Though we only speak about 100 words a month which consists of several phrases like: Jemput makan (Bon appetite) and Akak balik kampong minggu ni (I’m going back to my hometown this weekend), along with her hideous tactic to make me take the garbage out by putting the garbage in the plastic bag and leave it on my shoes though it is her turn to take them out I could still bear with her. The sole reason? It’s the cheapest place with a very convenient access to the public transportation!

You’re still studying are you? I always see you reading in the LRT station (asked by a moron in my new department who bump into me occasionally in the lift or LRT station)

As typical as it seems, some Malaysians thought that we read only while we are still studying. One doesn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that reading is the key to knowledge. Talking about reading, I happened to read an interview with the National Library’s Director General in the Star last Sunday. I just can’t make up what to say about him but I suppose I shall let you guys read the snippets of the interview and tell me what’s your opinion.

How many books are in the new wing?
I am not sure.More books..maybe three times the number in the old area.

You also have a nice new roof! How much did it cost?
More than RM5mil.

How much did the new books in the new wing cost?
I’m not very sure, but very much more than what we spent the year before.

Updates on my quest to become an aquarist

I have killed the seventh fish today. Lucky 7 or what?

If you want to support the government's campaign on buying the original CD and your money is just enough to buy 1 CD, then the CD to buy should be Sergio Mendes latest album, Timeless. It's worth every penny!

Please Baby Don’t - Sergio Mendes ft John Legend

Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I (honey I)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
I've been cruisin down this road for a while now,
I should tell the truth...
Girl you've been so good to me but I know
I'm no good for you
You should run while you can
Find yourself a better man
'Cause I'm known for brief romance
And breakin hearts across the land
Yes I've been known to have a few temptations
Out there on the road
And let's say hypothetically I've slipped and
Took a couple home
Girl I know that's not fair
You need someone who'll be there
So just get away before it's too late
and you're pain is too much to bear
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
(rhodes piano solo)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I'm (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Now on second thought maybe we'll give
This love another try
'Cause I can't see you with no one else
I'm selfish I can't lie
So let's go, let's go slow
You know all you need to know
It could end one day but
Let's just say we'll see how far it goes
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I'm (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me

Kimutaku and friends

Great news! Kimutaku and friends have survived until today at 8.30am. But I have also murdered another 2 gold fish in the last 2 weeks. I believe that the best thing that one experience as an aquarist is during the feeding frenzy. My fish are now already tame and they’d be swimming like mad whenever they see me home.

Dying to write more but am too busy with the hand over.

Will write more about my quest to become an aquarist.

The saga shall continue, soon!

"Tears And Rain" - James Blunt
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.

How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.

I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.