Hari Ini Aku Poyo

It's 3.48 am and some dogs are barking outside. I stared at the screen wanting to write about how much I love 'ulam' but I couldn't because I don't eat vegetables most of the time unless I go to this one fellow's house that loves vegetables so much. Well at least I just need to pretend how much I love 'ulam' and why consuming it makes me look 15 years younger or at least makes my face look 'tegang macam kompang' or 'tegang sebab sentiasa berwudhu'. Yeah right!

I've been having writer's block for god knows how many days already.Four articles need to be sent out before Thursday and I'll be damned if I don't finish it off in time.

I couldn’t help it but being ‘poyo’ all these while and someone might just vomit when he stumbles into this. Well, maybe not. At times people could easily misunderstood why I could be so in love with this particular someone whilst they are not fully aware how hard it is for me to at least truly love someone who is not a family member.I feel that it's hard to let go but I'm not sure whether it's worth to hang on with.

A few conflicts here and there that adds up to all the mess in my brain makes me wish hard that I have magic wand to smooth things out. Knowing that someone sees me as a psycho doesn't help to boost my morale at time like this.Even watching American Psycho at 3am didn't offer me much solutions except that I feel the urge to doodle on my notebook. Unfortunately I could only draw matchstick man if not it might have become a masterpiece in 20 years. I wish!

Until I am out of my writer’s block, do pray that at least I shall be granted brilliant ideas on what to write about by Thursday!

P/S: decided to be back in telco. Couldn’t help it but the offer is too tempting to resist hahaha!

Patrick Bateman in American Psycho

There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

Kau Yang Terindah

telah lama kau pergi dariku
telah lama kau tinggalkan aku
dan aku pun masih menunggu
dan aku pun masih menunggu

kau kembali tapi bukan untukku
rasa hati masih tetap untuk mu
salahkah bila hati berharap
dan aku pun masih berharap

kau yang terindah untukku
kau yang terindah untukku
kau yang terindah untukku
kau yang terindah untukku

dan aku masih tetap untukmu
aku masih disini untukmu
rasa hati masih untuk yang terindah

kau yang terindah untukku
kau yang terindah untukku..