Sebagai peserta kempen belog dalam bahasa malaysia yang di anjurkan oleh eyeris.blogspot.com, saya dengan rasa rendah diri mempersembahkan hasil tulisan saya buat pertama kali di dalam bahasa malaysia bersempena dengan sambutan hari kemerdekaan ke 48.

Sebagai seorang wanita yang baru sahaja menyambut hari wanita dan kini menyambut hari kemerdekaan pula, saya fikir wanita sebenarnya masih belum merdeka dalam erti kata sebenar.

Benar,wanita boleh melakukan apa sahaja yang lelaki lakukan kini.Tetapi merdekakah wanita bila mereka masih di nilai dari paras rupa dan bukannya kebolehan dan kelayakan masing-masing?Sedarkah anda bahawa lelaki yang tidak mempunyai paras rupa dan boleh di kategorikan sebagai muka pecah pintu masih boleh mendapat pekerjaan sebagai seorang eksekutif dengan gaji kasar sebanyak RM 2,500?Jika anda adalah seorang wanita,anda akan di nilai dari paras rupa dan kepandaian anda untuk mengambil hati bos dan rakan sekerja serta ciri-ciri lain yang merangkumi 70% dari sebab musabab kenapa anda boleh di ambil bekerja di sesuatu syarikat.

Kenapakah tulisan saya berbaur kemarahan?Saya sudah muak menjadi mangsa di zaman kemerdekaan.Saya merupakan seorang yg bermuka pecah pintu dan sering membuat kerja bagi pihak wanita yang mempunyai paras rupa yang menarik tetapi tidak berkebolehan dalam melaksanakan tugasan yang telah di berikan oleh pihak syarikat kepadanya.

Kalau camtu kan ke senang kalau bos dia amik jek aku keje?

Sekian luahan saya di dalam bahasa malaysia.

Terima kasih

Wedding?

The only pic that I ever took in a wedding ceremony



Wedding blues

I broke my rituals! I attended a wedding last Sunday! I could only attend one wedding a year. I am not really fond about the idea of attending any weddings at all. It has nothing to do with my age or my marital status. The thing is, I tend to feel uncomfortable at weddings. People will make comparisons at the very second you go to say hi to the host right to when you walk out to leave the ceremony. The makcik2 especially will list out who has the best clothes, the best car, the best job etc.

Apart from that, I could have a very low-esteem when it comes to eating in wedding. I could be damn hungry but still eat a small portion. I am afraid that the makcik-makcik will say that I eat like a pig! Like last week, I had to get something else to eat after I came back from my cousin’s wedding. LOL

Can you recognize me?

So I went to my cousin’s wedding. Actually I don’t have any ideas on who got married that day. As far as I know, I had to attend the wedding on my family’s behalf and I had to be there by hook or by crook. Mum even called me up at 8am to remind me of the wedding. She was mad since I was still asleep whilst I had to be at the wedding before noon. I assured her that I’d be there before the wedding ended. In fact I got there with a couple of friends right after the bersanding.

I am not that close with my father’s side. I must confess that I barely know his siblings. I even had troubling recognizing my aunt, which was the host of the wedding. I went to see the family after I had my meal. Mind you, my stomach was grumbling like a mad cow and I definitely had to take my lunch before I lost my appetite after hearing them giving a long speech about my family.

I went to see my granny who cried when she saw me. Then I got to see a bunch of aunts and uncles whom never met in my entire life. Suddenly this woman came to me and asked me whether I know her. Oh Man! How could expect that I’d still remember who you are when the last time that we met was 12 years ago? I bluntly answered her: I have no idea, I’m sorry. She was cool about it, lucky me! She is my aunt, one of the persons who accepted mum into the family with open arms 36 years ago.

If we can’t get you, we’re going to get your kid!

I have an aunt who really is the pain in the ass. Till today, I can’t bare to speak to her for more than 5 minutes. Abah knew really well how I couldn’t stand her at all. I could still tolerate with others but not her. In our conversation, well more like a mumbling to me, I found out that her only child is in Faye’s school. I could sense the kid’s hatred towards Faye from the way she talked about Faye.

I straightaway informed Faye to keep a close eye on her so Faye could bully her on our behalf. You don’t know how happy Kojeh and I about our devilish plan. She had bullied my mum throughout her marriage to abah. So that’s the least we could do to seek some revenge for mum. Muahahhahahahaha!

What? Hi-heels?

I was given a pair of hi-heels during a retail therapy session with friend who had been dumped by her 3-years boyfriend. I got to wear them to the wedding, and I swear I felt the earth shaking violently under my feet!

Bonjour Monsieur

I have started a new job.Yeay!V sms-ed me to stop worshipping those French guys. He was afraid that my mind as a typical Malaysians would be subjugated by those hotties.LOL. I had been given a few tasks that need to be done in a month. So I suppose I need to work even harder, to impress my boss and big boss.

The office is so big and there are lots of cubicles. I was lost in it a few times while trying to find the way back to mine. I pretended that I deliberately go there to get to know them and it worked out well. So now you know, never to call and ask me for directions since I have lost my sense of directions. Have you seen it anywhere before?


James Blunt - You're beautiful

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Rainy Sunday

Pic courtesy of Azrul Helmi http://zforzzz.fotopages.com/

XVII (I do not love you...)

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this:
where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda

The beautiful side of somewhere

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

It was a very hot and humid day. I rushed to the dentist to do the scalding and forgot to bring anything else but some money. I was hoping to see my favorite dentist who had been my dentist for quite sometimes. While I was waiting for my turn, I read a month old newspaper, which featured Craig Foong. He as always looked so sharp in the pictures. I was struggling like mad to stop myself from drooling. He would be the perfect candidate to play the role as a lifeguard in any beach movies.

When I went in to see the dentist, I was so shocked to see that it was not my favorite dentist who was on duty. He had been replaced with a monster! He asked me to open out my mouth, as wide as I could. I couldn’t help it but to notice his hairy arms and big tummy. I tried to distract my mind by reading the posters on the wall but to no avail. I kept thinking that it’d be a disaster if the hair on his arms fell into my mouth while he was doing the scalding. Come to think of it, I might gargle with Clorox for a month! I almost choked myself to death whenever I saw the hairy arms moving around my face when suddenly I remembered Craig Foong’s pictures that I saw in the newspaper. I even thought to send a thank you note to the Star writer who wrote the articles on Craig Foong.

As I was about to amuse myself with how vivid my memory was the dentist suddenly moved my head and let it rest on his tummy. Just imagine how painful it was at that time?I had to endure the pain of scalding while my head moved up and down as the dentist breathed in and out. Oh my dear friend, this was definitely the worst trip ever to the dentist. What had I done that made me deserved all these? Did I kick a cat that morning? Did I spit on mom’s roses? Did I wear my shirt inside out? Well, none of it obviously.

I prayed hard that the whole thing would be done in 5minutes. To make things worst, I had to argue with him so that he’d polished my teeth. Seriously, I need to find myself a new dentist!

Popcorn!

I went to watch Ungu Violet twice! Nana and I went to watch it on the first day of its screenings and the second time was with Mustlyana who wanted to watch it badly today. luckily I was not thrown out of the theatre since we both kept giggling and fooling around. Not forget to mention that we both were seated right infront of the screen!

I shall agree with most of the movie buffs: this movie certainly has a good cinematography but a weak storyline. Rizky Hanggono as Lando definitely reminds me of my fave someone. Emotionless but warmth sometimes!

Down memory lane

I read some of the emails that I sent to Macca. I realized that he had done the thing that I told him to do long before. I told him that I wished he’d say good-bye so I could get on with my life. That was what he did. I am glad in a way that he is not a part of my life any more. Did I curse him before with my limited cursing vocabulary? Yes, I did. But now, I hope that everything works out fine for him.

Fix You - Coldplay


When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you
I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

untitled

"Pieces"

I tried to be perfect

But nothing was worth it

I don’t believe it makes me real

I thought it’d be easy

But no one believes me

I meant all the things I said

If you believe it’s in my soul

I’d say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I’m trying to let you know

That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty

My thoughts are so tempting

I don’t know how it got so bad

Sometimes it’s so crazy

That nothing can save me

But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul

I’d say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I’m trying to let you know

That I’m better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect

It just wasn’t worth it

Nothing could ever be so wrong

It’s hard to believe me

It never gets easy

I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul

I’d say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I’m trying to let you know

That I’m better off on my own

From the bottom of my broken heart

It’s no use crying over spilt milk

It was a very depressing slumber party. I managed to avoid talking about their break up by watching IT. It felt like my eyes were glued to the screen. It really is stressful to think about how she’s going to cope living without him.

She started asking me to ask her ex to join us for lunch. I totally ignored her plan. How could I make her see that this is not the right way to deal with the break up? She started to cry after that. Luckily, the tears meant nothing. I let her cried all her might but no I don’t want to be involved in the crying game.

He on the other hand, is happy to go on living. Keep the new lover aside; we can clearly see that he has a lot of reasons to live. Why does it matter if he changed? What if he changed for the good? Who are we to judge him?

I don’t know for how long is she going to live like this. Once she wakes up she’ll start crying as if she doesn’t want to wake up anymore. The day is not as beautiful as it used to be and the roses are not as sweet as they supposed to be.
Is it worth it to waste your valuable life longing for someone who dumped you because he thinks that you are not worth of his love?

Was it my fault if I am ugly?

I was at KLCC again today, this time around with Nana. We tried to get a cab but to no avail. I lost my temper because of the incidents that I listed below and yes I too was surprised to learn that I needed lots of incidents before I really got angry.

1)Queue

Would it matters if we cut the queues? Yes it is. For me, it means a lot. You show that you acknowledge the people before you has queued up long before you got there. Unfortunately, in lots of cases people just don’t care about this anymore. I was waving like mad to stop a taxi when suddenly a group of people rushed to the taxi that stopped for me. I felt disgusted and almost threw up. I thanked god that I didn’t really threw up at that time. The sight of a young lady covered with her vomit is not a very pleasant sight, especially if it happens right in front of KLCC. What if it really did happen? I’ll definitely avoid that place for 5 years, let alone to drive along Jalan Ampang.

In another incident, I tried to hail the taxi but then the taxi driver stopped to pick up some tourists that queued up after me. The tourists told the taxi driver that we got there before them. Still, the taxi driver insisted to take them instead of us. Was I mad? Yes. But it was still not enough for me to start cursing.

2)Hey beautiful

In my limited cursing vocabulary i.e. your underwear smell like cow dunk, I had started cursing right after this incident. There was a pretty girl who cut our queue. She managed to hail a few taxi compared to us who had been queuing for a while but none of the taxi stopped for us.

Upon seeing this I lost my temper. Is there any significant proves that one must have a good look to hail a cab? In that case, all the ugly ducklings should stick to the smelly metro buses and LRT since it is impossible for them to hail a cab. It would bring a lot of hazards to taxi drivers. For instance, the taxi driver would have to drive as fast as he could since he couldn’t stand the thought of having some ugly creatures in the back seat. As a result, he slams his car onto the divider. What about those taxi drivers who puke out whenever they see the ugly ducklings queuing up on the side of the road waiting for taxis?

Glade would make a hell lot of money. The air freshener business as well as the car wash would have customers’ non-stop. It’ll contribute a lot to the Malaysia’s economy. Come to think of it those small businesses like Ah V’s car wash would make millions, just like the AP’s holders.

How’s your job

Well, I quit my job. No, I’m not proud of it. I went for dinner in KLCC and I was really late to go back to work. So I decided that this is it. I don’t want to be stuck with the scripts anymore. Then I went home, watched TV and started to enjoy my joblessness. Again!

What’s next?

Somebody that I just knew asks me: What do you really want to do? Have I the answer? Affirmatively no.

Love

What's wrong with you, with us, what's happening to us?

Ah our love is a harsh cord that binds us wounding us and if we want to leave our wound,

to separate,

it makes a new knot for us and condemns us to drain our blood and burn together.

What's wrong with you?

I look at you and I find nothing in you but two eyes like all eyes,

a mouth lost among a thousand mouths that I have kissed,

more beautiful,

a body just like those that have slipped beneath my body without leaving any memory.

And how empty you went through the world like a wheat-colored jar without air,

without sound, without substance!

I vainly sought in you depth for my arms that dig,

without cease, beneath the earth: beneath your skin,

beneath your eyes,

nothing,

beneath your double breast scarcely raised a current of crystalline order that does not know why it flows singing.

Why, why, why, my love, why?

Pablo Neruda

Too much love wasted

Hot and sunny Monday morning

It is 9.15am.I woke up early this morning. Fried some chicks, went into the room to choose what shirt to wear to work and voila, my chicks got burnt. An exciting kick-start to my day!

I’ve been spending the last 3 days listening to a couple of broken hearts. Both are my good friends and now they embarked on a journey to separate destinations.

The girl is still coping with the breakup. She got too comfy with him being around. Now, she is lost without him.

The boy? He found someone new and he puzzles me. A lot.

I am actually torn in between. I can’t justify myself.

What am I to do? Nothing. I am too numb to think about it.

Weird World of Mine

Pile on the agony

It’s been a long week. I came back late from work and went straight to bed. I totally had forgotten about my blog. So many things happened, too many sadness and grief. A few hearts are broken and a lot more in despair.

I had a very terrible week I should say. I went to work feeling cranky the whole week and luckily nobody got hurt out of this, though I had showed the finger to quite a few people. I am so thankful that I am still alive up to this day.

My heart has been crumbled and tossed all over this week. I wish I could’ve iron my heart to make all the wrinkles gone. It would be better if I could send my heart to dry cleaning, alas I’m broke and sending my heart to the dry cleaning is definitely a big no, no!

To the faithful departed

For some lovers in love, their love is not meant to last. To see these two people that I care about went their own separate ways, makes me feel like my heart has been tossed into the ditch. You know, like how you tossed the counseling report that you had to sign up though you had debated your reasons for being 5 minutes late for hours with your superior.

When I called him this afternoon, I just couldn’t believe my ear (I’ve started to question myself about my ability to hear well after having to listen to all the curses and pranks from the callers on daily basis) is it true? How are you coping? We paused in between, just to listen to his breath; heavy and slow. It was a torment to hear him that way. You can’t imagine how hurt it is to having to listen to him while he talked on how worry he is about her. It was even more depressing to hear him said I love you more to me before I hung up the phone.

I wish everything would turn out fine.

PERSONAL

I talked to mum the other day. It all went well until out of a sudden she started to cry. She wished that I came back to live with her. But I don’t think that I could stay in the house. I always think about abah lately. It would be sad to see mum sleeping alone in her bed. I can’t be sleeping on my bed where his cold body was laid. It’s too agonizing just to think of it.

His birthday will be on in about 3 weeks. There won’t be any celebration or gifts to be sent home. I remember it very well. Two weeks after abah passed away, I went inside a shop to find some shirts for abah. I already chose the shirts that I wanted to buy for him when I was hit by reality. Abah is here no more and there’s nobody else that I could buy the shirts for.

I miss his cooking, very dearly. I miss his ketupat even more. But what I miss the most is the chat that we had every week without failed. When I called to check on the recipe, he’d argued with mum about the ingredients and the methods. It was funny to hear their banters. I guess that’s why mum feels so lonely without his wits.

When I went out with Gebob and Kojeh, we talked about how we all competed to give him the best gift. Mum would feel jealous when she saw all the gifts that we bought for his birthday. They both teased each other about who got the best gift ever. He never worn the last gift that I gave him, and most of the things that I bought were never been used. I bought him a few kain pelikat but he never worn them. I found them stacked neatly in his wardrobe, still in the wrappers. Mum asked me to take them back but I refused. Let it be stacked in there, as a sign of his past existence, which will always be missed.

I wish that I would have totally forgotten that 19th of August is just around the corner.

Are you crying?

I spoke to a dear friend the other night. She too, had a dreadful week. If I had wings, I would have took her under them (this would be after I put on a lot of deodorant) and protect her from all harms. I’d put away her misery by flapping my wings (which most probably need to be sprayed with febreeze after a few flap) and fly her to the highest mountain to leave all the anguish behind and let her have her peace.

Beforehand, I SMS-ed her about how I felt towards those people that have been hurting her feelings. She called me up after receiving my SMS. We talked about how mean these people are towards her when tears started to stream down my cheeks. The tears streamed down faster after I heard she said, “ Are you crying?”

I felt really angry and sad at that very moment because people can’t stop hurting other’s feelings though they barely know much about the person. I felt ashamed to know that respect and courtesy would one day become very alien ideas to us. I wish I could tell all these people who she really is, what she really means to most of us and how she has inspires us lot.

People can be so mean to each other. I suppose I don’t need to elaborate more on this. We know how people are. Alas, there’s nothing much that we could do about that. We can’t really protect our privacy lately, thanks to the thing called Internet. We can do as we wish, say things as we want to.

It's true what people say

God protect the ones who help themselves

in their own way

And I often wondered to myself:

Who protects the ones who can't protect themselves?

Cranberries-"Fee Fi Fo"

Weep buckets

I must confess that I could easily cry lately. Maybe I am getting fragile. Perhaps, I am getting older. Excuse me; I need to have a look in the mirror, just to check any signs of white hair.


"Be Yourself"

Someone falls to pieces

Sleepin all alone

Someone kills the pain

Spinning in the silence

To finally drift away

Someone gets excited

In a chapel yard

Catches a bouquet

Another lays a dozen

White roses on a grave

To be yourself is all that you can do

To be yourself is all that you can do

Someone finds salvation in everyone

And another only pain

Someone tries to hide himself

Down inside himself he prays

Someone swears his true love

Untill the end of time

Another runs away

Separate or united?

Healthy or insane?

To be yourself is all that you can do

To be yourself is all that you can do

To be yourself is all that you can do

To be yourself is all that you can do

And even when you've paid enough,

been pulled apart or been held up

With every single memory of the good

or bad faces of luck

don't lose any sleep tonight

I'm sure everything will end up alright

You may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do

To be yourself is all that you can do

The complete idiot's guides to: calling help line

This is exactly how the freshies look like on their first day at the call center

Since I’ve started working at call center, which is Rafferty's rules I realized one thing; People don’t have any ideas on how to make a phone call to the help line. In the end, they will feel frustrated for not getting the answers needed from the Customer Service Executives (CSE) of the Telco. So I shall write down all the things that deemed necessary in order for you as the customer to get the best customer service ever (literally).

1) Pen and a piece of paper

Before you dial the help line, please make sure that you have these two things. The CSE will definitely say that he wouldn’t mind waiting for you to find the pen and paper while listening to you screaming at your kids to pass them to you. But one thing that you don’t know is that he is actually jotting down your number and planning to write them up the public phone booth and advertise you as an Along.

2) Location

Do not call help line while watching TV or listening to the radio. The static will annoys the CSE since their headphone really is sensitive. You will then be instructed to go out of the house and scream your lungs out since the CSE claimed that he couldn’t hear you well. You would end up looking like a lunatic talking on the phone in the compound. This is a very good way for the CSE to embarrass you with the whole neighborhood as a revenge for the static.

3) Voice

Make sure that you speak with a very pleasant voice. Remember, the CSE doesn’t see your face. If you just woke up with only your kain pelikat and suddenly decided to recharge your phone’s credit ASAP, please make sure that you sound upbeat. Or else the CSE might come out with a very rude remark about how hoarse you sound since he is jealous that you could wake up at 1pm on Sunday morning whereas he have to start working at 7am.

Girls, make sure that you don’t sound like a transvestite on the phone. There’s no reason on why you should speak so soft like an Ah Kua. The CSE especially the girls will press the mute button and curse you like hell while asking you to repeat things over and over again until you got fed up and drop the line.

4) Details

Remember the details on any accounts. If you sound like a lost kid in the mall to the CSE you will suddenly realize that the soft spoken and understanding CSE suddenly sounds like his hemorrhoid is going to burst out.

Ensure that you understand when, how and why really means or you’d feel like you want to throw yourself out of the windows from the 30th floor for not getting the answers to your questions.

5) Prank call

If you decided to make a prank or silent call to the help line, please do not use your own phone. This is the most important rule especially if you want to play the sounds of people making up while you talk dirty to the CSE. Don’t be surprised if suddenly people keep calling you up and ask if you are available for a one-night stand every hour even while you are having a meeting with your potential girlfriend.

The worst thing could happen? Imagine that your car tyre is punctured in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and your spare tyre is bald and you need to call for help. Suddenly you realize that your line has been barred and the only no that you could call is the TELCO help line. We won’t want that to happen, won’t we?

6) Names and numbers

Please make sure that you give your real name unless you intended to make a prank call.
If the CSE knows that you keep calling to check the balance credit of your girlfriend with different names daily, you will most probably get a very cold treatment or you wont get to check her balance at all.Remember your phone nos too. CSEs' can smell your lie miles away!

P/S: I’m going to write up about why I don’t want to entertain calls to check for balance for third party. The main reason is that I feel like there’s no trust in them. But that’s going to be posted in another posting J

7) Language

Do not, I repeat DO NOT SPEAK IN SLANGS, especially if you faking it. You don’t know whom are you dealing with.

8) Patience is the best policy

If you just activate any services, there’s no need for you t o be panic if after 5minutes the service has been not activated yet. You need to at least give 4hours for the service to be activated. It won’t speed up the process even if you call the help line every 30 minutes to check whether your service has been activated yet.

9) I no stupid

Case study 1:

Caller: I’d like to know how to listen to my ring tones. I’ve been trying but to no avail.
CSE: Miss, do you want to activate your ring tones?
Caller: **Indecisive** errrr…I suppose so..
CSE: Miss, you just need to (instructions given)
Caller: **perplexed** what’s that?
CSE: You haven’t activated the service. No wonder you can’t listen to any ring tones.

(Please read in a very irritated tones)

Case study 2:

Caller: I can’t make any outgoing phone calls from my phone. It’s a brand new phone for god sake! I just bought it last week! What the %^&* is going on?
CSE: Sir, there’s nothing wrong with either your phone or our service. It’s just that you have RM0.00 in your balance credit. Logically, you can’t make any outgoing phone calls except to the help line (please read this line in a very sarcastic tone)
Caller: oooh!(sheepishly drop the line)

10) Understand all these guidelines and know it by heart!

This is how a heart breaks

Just learned that two people that I love dearly have broke up.

My fave someone

He’s been very busy. We have many catching ups to do.

from Kahlil Gibran on Friendship

Your friend is one who answers to your needs:

the field you sow with love, and reap with thanks;

you seek him for your peace, to hear his heart;

and when he's silent - still his heart you hear: because, with words or not, you share his joy;

in presence or in absence he is there;

and stronger love may in his absence show: the beauty of a love that asks for naught.

So tell your friend of all that ebbs and flows,

your best and worst of what fate deals to you: no thought too great nor light for open minds

who share their pleasures, and their laughter too.

For in the dew of sweet and passing thoughts each morning's fresh, for close and constant hearts.

Michael Shepherd

Murid-murid SKYM

Fact of the day:Mute's dimples could hold 1cent coins.

Nazrul and Mute looked so happy because they had been elected as the President and Vice President of Persatuan Alam dan Manusia SKYM.Both of them had bribed the whole school with ever so popular Mute's SKYM.
















Megat stared at Gemok who was hiding his book under the table.Megat was in fact tried to find a way to steal Gemok's book to copy the answers for Maths homework.What Megat didn't know was that Gemok actually copied the answers from Jason who copied from Adam who copied from Ted who copied from Leman budak darjah 5 Purple who was standing at the back!
















Cikgu Visitor was demonstrating the art of eating nasi goreng without having to open up your mouth which he had mastered for 40 years to Hazera and Pengki.

Hazera was so impressed while Pengki posed for the camera.
















From Left to Right:

If you wonder why Nazrul looked like that, well he just had his ubat cacing before lunch.After lunch all the worms were waiting to come out.

Pengetua Sekolah,Cikgu Yasmin.Just by looking at her one would knows what does Kenyang Perut Suka Hati means :)

Ketua Kelas 5Pink,Habri who was trying his best to maintain his balooning tummy

Jaja,the member of Tunas Puteri who always so eager to camp around the school compound.

Gemok looked so distressed because he was afraid that he didn't enough money to pay for his meal.He forgot to asked for his school allowance from his mom earlier.He was actually counting for the 11th times.

Ah Tat pretended not to see Gemok counting his money.Alas he was ensuring that he could pau Gemok to pay for his lunch too.

Syahrulfikri was so happy because his mom would come to pick him up after school.He always lost his way back from school since he was in Darjah 1 Hijau.






This is Ah Tat.He had to wear the cap because his mom made him used ubat kutu which was given by Misi Halimah.








Credits to Hazera for all the pics.TQ SO STRONG!

Two postings in one day!

I might seem like a very hardworking blogger by writing two postings in a day. Or like Emi would have said: Gigih ya amat! I have to write this posting since I don’t want to lose the hype by delaying it.

It all started with a phone call from my fave someone who reminded me to watch the new reality show on tv3. Well, you guys have guessed it. Mencari Cinta (Searching for Love).I just realized that my fave someone was not aware that I my hi-fi could play the vcd’s.So I abruptly stopped watching the VCD and tuned in to TV3.

The program started by showing all the contestants doing their favourite past time and some interviews with their family and friends. I suppose the contestants must have a great headache before the shooting. What to wear? What to say? How to rehearse my family and friends so they look so natural when they talk about how great I am? I wonder if there was any family feud that happened because of this show. Their family members and friends must have argued on whom should be on TV. Those that were on the show must have done lots of sucking up hahahaha..

During the show, both my fave someone and I exchanged our comments using the SMS. I supposed it was best that we didn’t watch the show together or someone might have got killed by then.

After wasting my precious hour watching the show, these are the things that I could sum out:
1) Men can be fussier than women
One contestant said that he has 42 criteria’s that he wants a woman to have. He must have watched Stepford Wives far too many.

2) They can’t seem to compromise any flaws in a woman
Should they blame women for not falling in love them? Nope, they shouldn’t. It seems like they will only make room for a perfect girl. Shame on you guys J

3) All of them are bad actors
The part that I hate the most? When they got into the room and all of them tried to look impressed with the room’s décor. I bet kak chik could’ve acted better than they did. They tried so hard to make them look like an average Joe. It’s such a pity to see them that way.

If I were to be the ‘lucky girl’ in the show, I reckon they would have withdraw themselves out of the show on the spot like my fave someone said to me. LOL.
All in all, it would be fun to watch these guys strategize on how to win the girl’s heart.

So here’s to the contestants, a moving poet by Khalil Gibran. Cheers!



Song of Love XXIV

I am the lover's eyes, and the spirit's Wine,

and the heart's nourishment.

I am a rose. My heart opens at dawn and

The virgin kisses me and places me

Upon her breast.

I am the house of true fortune,

and the Origin of pleasure,

and the beginning Of peace and tranquility.

I am the gentle

Smile upon his lips of beauty.

When youth

Overtakes me he forgets his toil, and his

Whole life becomes reality of sweet dreams.

I am the poet's elation,

And the artist's revelation,

And the musician's inspiration.

I am a sacred shrine in the heart of a Child,

adored by a merciful mother.

I appear to a heart's cry; I shun a demand;

My fullness pursues the heart's desire;

It shuns the empty claim of the voice.

I appeared to Adam through Eve

And exile was his lot;

Yet I revealed myself to Solomon,

and He drew wisdom from my presence.

I smiled at Helena and she destroyed Tarwada;

Yet I crowned Cleopatra and peace dominated

The Valley of the Nile.

I am like the ages -- building today

And destroying tomorrow;

I am like a god, who creates and ruins;

I am sweeter than a violet's sigh;

I am more violent than a raging tempest.

Gifts alone do not entice me;

Parting does not discourage me;

Poverty does not chase me;

Jealousy does not prove my awareness;

Madness does not evidence my presence.

Oh seekers,

I am Truth,

beseeching Truth;

And your Truth in seeking and receiving

And protecting me shall determine my

Behavior.

Khalil Gibran

~It's raining men~

Give Me Strength

This is my prayer to thee, my lord---strike,
strike at the root of penury in my heart.
Give me the strength lightly to bear my joys and sorrows.
Give me the strength to make my love fruitful in service.
Give me the strength never to disown the poor or bend my knees before insolent might.
Give me the strength to raise my mind high above daily trifles.
And give me the strength to surrender my strength to thy will with love.

Rabindranath Tagore

It’s raining cats and dogs outside. I never felt so blissful to hear the heavy rain drops today. I suppose it’s because I couldn’t hear the raindrops at the office nor I couldn’t feel the wind blowing through my windows. It would be so refreshing to run outside and play in the rain. Lately, I could see the lightning strikes from my office but I could not hear the sounds of it. It makes me feel lonely and sad. It reminds me how I am so blessed with the ability to hear and to see. I thank God for all the blessings that I have taken for granted all these years.

Ass-sessments !

I was at the office last Saturday, to reseat for my call-answering assessment. I did well I supposed since I was already been given the schedule for next week. I was still dizzy due to lack of sleep and I didn’t have a proper lunch today. I was not in the mood to eat by myself, so I ended up having bread, again.

I had two sessions with two different seniors. The first one was very warm and supportive. She gave me all the freedoms that I wanted and needed to toggle with the system. The best thing was I got some rooms to make mistakes and I learnt my lessons well. Came the second senior, I felt as if I should ran amok in the office and killed anybody who wears blue shirt. I believe that anywhere in the world, in any companies, schools or colleges, there’d be somebody who wants us to hail them as Miss-Knows-It -All. I wonder if she purposely interrupted my phone conversation with a customer right in front of my trainer just to show how incompetent I am. sigh

Luckily, I passed the assessment but I reckon not with flying colours!

Know when you are well off

I believe that I have wasted the 1st half of this year and accomplished nothing. I was jobless, then hired. I worked for 3 months with no pay. I went back to square one for a few months. And now we are already in the second half of 2005. What have I gained out of these messes? A lot. Have I any regrets? A few but it’s nothing compared to all the lessons that I learnt from the hardships that I had to endure. All in all, I grow I each and every way; from the small plants in nobody knows to the big trees in LOTR. Well not that big yet, but I suppose I’d be that big if I follow the doc’s instruction to eat 5 meals daily to maintain my blood pressure LOL.


Khayalan Tingkat Tinggi

I had a strange urge to listen to that song last night.

Khayalan Tingkat Tinggi - Peter Pan

awal ku melihat

kuyakin ini bukanlah yang biasa

mengagumkan

melemahkan aku melihat tatap matanya

garis tawanya

waktu berhenti apabila

ku memandangnya

mengagumkan

melemahkan aku melihat tatap matanya

khayalan ini setinggi-tingginya

seindah-indahnya

tepat ku memikirkannya

bila ku dapat ku simpan wajahnya

memegang indahnya

berpura memilikinya

yang kunanti saat memegang tangannya
sampai nanti tetap memegang tangannya

Why do I love this song so much? It’s plain to see the reasons from the lyrics. I’ve been longing for something for so long that I’ve started to question myself is it really worth it to holding on something that I know for certain would never be mine? I believe I shall get the answer eventually. In the mean time, this song shall be my anthem and I’ll sing it with gusto everyday as I wake up from my sleep.


I can't believe there's anything seriously wrong with her - she's the picture of health.

If I were pretty enough, I would have been chosen as the National Health model. You know, like Siti Nurhaliza who had been chosen as the PBSM ambassador. I always in good health and I donate blood twice a year. Come to think of it, I would get the opportunities to do covers for magazines. I could be the next top health model. I could be on the cover with Fahrin Ahmad!Heck! I need to shed off some fat before that. Hmmm what diet should I follow this time? hehehe.

Thank God for the good health for all these years. I was diagnosed with low blood pressure last week. I also don’t believe it too. I never had any health problems before. When I came back to work yesterday, everybody was asking how was I doing. It was tiring to know how they couldn’t believe their ears when they heard about my ailing and I had to explain over and over again about my health problem. At times I felt like I should’ve run an advertisement in the newspaper to tell them about my health conditions hahahaha. It would have saved the times in doing the explanations.

Bulan Julai Bulan Membaca

CONGRATULATIONS NANA!

Graduation

Here we are coming to end, which is also a beginning

All the smiles, tears, adrenaline, sweat, and broken hearts

Through the dances, clubs, sports, parties, and friendships

No one knows what each of us has gone through to be here

I can look around at everyone and wonder what they will be

Some may never remember their teachers, you, or even me

All the weight of world is now pressed upon our shoulders

Fighting the good fight to make something of ourselves

Four years of work to start all over again with a new fear

Not showing ourselves, not to shed a single tear

Where one door closes another opens, be we must walk through

Though nothing is what it seems, everyone wearing a mask

Afraid to open up for fear of being hurt, for fear of change

We will never know unless we make our fate and

Meet our destiny with all we have taken from this place

Sharing our love and friendship with new friends

Though never to replace our high school companions

How can we ever forget the memories we made in this chapter

The dark days coming into light, the days we did not want to wake up

The mornings after we let it loose, having to get up and make it through

I cannot see what lies ahead, but I know some things must stay unsaid

I will say I love every friend that I have made here at North Gwinnett

Thank you, you have no idea what you have done for me.

A.J. Henderson

What’s happening?

I’m on my second day of MC. I thought it might be a good day to rest. But no it’s not. My stomach is still cramping and I’m still losing my appetite. I tried to eat the porridge and thank god I didn’t throw out this time around. How I wish I was at home and mom will definitely prepare me a hell lot of good meals.

A few people were not convinced that I am having a low blood pressure. Reasons:
1) I could still be online
2) I could still update my blog
3) I could still answer calls and reply their smses

I don’t like to lie around whenever I get sick. It would make me feel so helpless and tired from doing nothing even days after I get better. So that’s why I keep my time occupied by doing all these things. So please understand me.

How’s work?

I failed my last assessment. Somebody sent me an sms and congratulate me on my failure. How thoughtful he is. The trainer came out with lots of reasons but there was one that he didn’t realize, I am not so keen to do this job. Alas, I need to do the test again after my MC. Others have taken their tests for the past 2 days. That would leave me alone to do the test.

I know for sure that there would come a day when I would throw up after a day’s work. You just don’t have any ideas on how terrible it is to answer the calls from all the customers. This might sounds offensive but some of the callers can be so vain and thought that I could really understand what they are talking about in their accents. A few of them can be so annoying and you wish that they’d turn deaf right after you end up their calls. A very good example is per below:

Caller : Cik, ambo nok check baki no tepon nie.. 01X-7575 XXX
Miss,I would like to check the balance for this no 01X-7575 XXX

Me : Saya ulang nombor tersebut ya En XXXX. 01X-757 7XXX
Mr XXXX, let me repeat the no again 01X-757 7XXX

Caller : Salah tu. 01X-7575 XXX
That was wrong 01X-7575 XXX

Me : Saya ulang sekali lagi ya Encik XXXX. 01X-757 7XXX
I repeat the no again Mr XXXX 01X-757 7XXX

Caller : Gapo nigh. Salah! 01X-7575 XXX
What’s this? Wrong! 01X-7575 XXX

Me : Baiklah! En XXXX 01X-7575 XXX
All right! Mr XXX 01X-7575 XXX

Need I tell more? LOL

United!Again!

I went back for a short visit last week. This time it was different and happier I would say. The three of us had reunited. For the hundredth time. Gebob, Kojeh and I went out together just like the old time. I suppose mom might shed some tears when we were out. We had so much fun together and all the grudges were forgotten that day. I pray that this will last.

My nephews and nieces were doing great. Apart from learning the fact that I had forgotten about Angah’s birthday and it turned out really ugly, I had so much fun spending my time with them.

I want a rich husband so I can shop everyday

I thank God for I still have my hearing ability even after I had to endure this type of chat for weeks. At times, I feel like I was at the Sarong Party Girls outings. For me, it would be annoying to having to listen to this type of craps while having my meal. It might sounds as if I’m an anti-social but sometimes I rather have my meal alone just to hinder myself from hearing so much craps. I should blame a few particular people who taught me that silent is golden when you can’t have a good chat about books, movies, sports or current issues for now I can’t seem to be able to tolerate this type of chat hahaha.

Other examples:

1) She thought that she’s so pretty. But look at her. The shirt that she wears must be bought from PS. I reckon she had never step into ASEANA in her entire life!
Quoted from a girl that just went to ASEANA and her bf just bought her a pareo for RM60.

2) I just can’t wait for Eric to get his pay. He promised to take me to KLCC and shop there. My other bf, which is a doctor, bought me a new skirt from RedRumMurder.
Quoted from a girl who has 3 boyfriends so far and counting.

It would be interesting to know what it feels like for them when they learn that life is not always a walk in the garden.

Do they hear you when you cry?

This is the book that I’ve been reading lately. Credit to Nazrul who lent me this book. It shall fall into the must read category. It not only reminds you of your values on life but also at the end of the day you’d feel so grateful for having all those people that you love, the job that you enjoy and lots of books to read (for me that is hehehe).

All That is Gold Does Not Glitter

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

JRR Tolkien

I NO WORK! YEAAAY!

Don’t be fooled. I still have to go to work, in 10 minutes. I haven’t showered, but here I am. In front of the pc updating my blog. I still don’t recover from my anger angst yesterday. It would be the worst day of my life. Still, I hang on. What to do, live must go on. I shall write more when i get back from my tiresome work.

In the mean time, have a lovely day!

Let Me Not Forget

If it is not my portion to meet thee in this life

then let me ever feel that I have missed thy sight ---

let me not forget for a moment,

let me carry the pangs of this sorrow in my dreams

and in my wakeful hours.

As my days pass in the crowded market of this world

and my hands grow full with the daily profits,

let me ever feel that I have gained nothing ---

let me not forget for a moment,

let me carry the pangs of this sorrow in my dreams and in my wakeful hours.

When I sit by the roadside, tired and panting,

when I spread my bed low in the dust,

let me ever feel that the long journey is still before me ---

let me not forget a moment,

let me carry the pangs of this sorrow in my dreams

and in my wakeful hours.

When my rooms have been decked out and the flutes sound

and the laughter there is loud,

let me ever feel that I have not invited thee to my house ---

let me not forget for a moment,

let me carry the pangs of this sorrow in my dreams

and in my wakeful hours

Rabindranath Tagore

Consider This

Make every day a special one
For younger you'll not be
Find joy in all the little things
And let your soul be free

Don't yearn for things you cannot have,
For that will spoil life's fun
If you can do this simple thing,
You'll be the lucky one.

For money cannot promise joy
But good health and love do
If you will just consider this
Then joy, will come to you.

Joseph M. Byron


Jump for Joy

Yesterday was one of the days when I had mixed up feelings. It started on well I suppose. I had lunch with some friends from TSC’s. It was really exhilarating, with all the conversations about films and a healthy dose of jokes from Da Boss’s old pal who came to visit her from Japan. The good thing was, I was able to sleep on my worries about my assessment for a while. Who needs to worry about the stupid assessment when one is on top of the world? Thanks to those in the picture for the great lunch, the great jokes and the laughter that we shared.

Exam!Exam!Exam!

Do you still remember how your class looks like on the verge of having exams? Well, times that to 100 and you will get the picture on how my other colleagues looked like yesterday. They had their discussions and kept exchanging notes. It came to the point of being annoying when one of the Team Leader that I shall name as Giant, kept going around to check on how everybody was doing. I was not in the mood to revise let alone discussing all the topics with the Giant checking on your knowledge level as if we were about to go for the spelling bee selection.

While we were having a chat after dinner break, Giant again was trying hard to break into my clicks conversation. It was maddening to see him boasting about his past experiences. I was not in the mood to have him as part of our conversation and I pointed out his grammatical errors to provoke his feelings. I was hoping that he would find me irritating and left us alone. He then gave me a dirty look and started on his speech on how good his grammar is compared to mine. If he is so good why couldn’t he differ between past and present tense? Bluweeeeekkkkk. Congratulations Giant, you are now in my top 10 lists of the person that I need to avoid in order to keep my happiness and sanity.

Something to look forward to

Can’t wait to go back home to hang out with my nephews and nieces. We have so many things to catch up.

My fave someone

I can’t bear to hear him coughing endlessly. Get well soon!

It’s a beautiful day

The sun is shining brightly. But still I can’t convince myself that it’s going to be a beautiful day to work especially after I saw the ads on Akademi Fantasia LOL

It's a beautiful day

I wish I was a beach bum!

Feels just like it should

It was a very strange day indeed. I guess today was one of the day when I felt that I should throw myself to a moving bus, or even a moving LRT. Everything would be better for everybody once I’m gone, I suppose.

Today is the day when I feel like I have wasted 6 months of my life by being jobless and being non-productive. Today is definitely the day when I feel that I exist among the people that I knew just because I exist. Nothing more and nothing less. Could I just not live my life today?

I woke up very late. Once I was up I straightly went to prepare my lunch. After I had my lunch, I was indecisive on whether I should go to my Shorinji Kempo class or not. I got myself ready and ended up watching TV instead. Then I finally made up my mind and I went to the class only to find that I was late. Terribly late! I didn’t enjoy the class at all since most of my partners speak Tagalogs and I couldn’t understand what they were talking about. I got sick and tired with the new student who came together with her boyfriend. Both of them are from Philippines. I kicked her hard on the stomach and she went to tell her boyfriend about it. So they both ended up training with each other and I had to train with both of the Sensei, which means that I would have more bruises than the rest of the class sigh

Right after the class I didn’t wait up to bid farewell to my fave companion and just went straight home. I suddenly felt sad and tears started to flow. I tried so hard not to cry and started to look up to the sky. Out of a sudden, I saw a silver lining. I felt pleased because I knew that I needed to see one.

I love you

I spoke to Betty today for an hour. How delighted I was to be able to speak to her. I know she misses me a lot. Sometimes I do wonder who misses me more; mom or Betty. Still, her love and warmth keeps me going. I remember the day when I went to see her before I left Penang. We both relied on each other very much. I supported her when she was struggling to adapt to the new environment and she had given me lots of moral supports back then and still is.
She is like a therapist. When I am done talking to her I feel such a relieved and am ready to live again. See, I can save lots of money by not going to the therapist but to call her instead.

I want my birthday present, and I want it now.

Been talking to my nephews and niece after my therapy session with Betty. Angah went amok when he knew that I bought Along a birthday present. He didn’t seem t o understand the concept that one needs to wait for his birthday before he can receive a birthday gift. I ended up promising him to buy a new book for his birthday. Kojeh was upset because he didn’t stop crying and as always she put the blame on me.

KES

I had another round of movie screening with the TSC’ers. I ended up going alone since my fave someone had to cancel at the very last minute. Below is my posting from Yasmin’s blog (I am too lazy to write a new one):


What can I say?

I like KES, but not as much liking that I have for Nobody Knows. One thing for sure, though it was made in 1969 but it still as pertinent as the day it was made. Like Nobody Knows, it has lots of unforgettable moments. This film will touch your humanity on several occasions, like when the teacher caned his students and this one little boy who was hiding the cigarettes for his fellow classmates had been caned too. One could weep when they see the tears streaming from his innocent eyes down to his cheek, and his body shaking from nervousness. We can’t help but to think on how cruel the headmaster had been towards his students. The label that he had on them not only frustrating but also could make you feel some rage.

Apart from the PE class bit where the teacher bullying his students, which seems to be a big hit among TSC’ers, I also like the part when Billy, coming from a working class and being prepared for a dead-end work, found his kestrel. He had been let down by the school system finds he can train it, imbibing the bird's dignity and self-belief. By finding the kestrel it only not bringing him some freedom and but also some love and affection.

His hard works gone in the drain when his brother killed Kes out of spite. It feels like your hope and your freedom had been crushed too. If you watch this movie, you can’t help but to feel how shameful it is to watch the movies that we have now. Again it proves the point that budget means nothing

Senario

I had a very interesting discussion about Senario with my fellow TSC’ers while hitching a ride with them after the screening. The three of us agreed that Azlee should’ve been kicked out of the group. He has not only been a disgrace to the group but always go overboard in his acting. I guess I can still tolerate with the rest of the group but not him.
I feel nauseas every time I see him in the Shell ads. I think Lan Pet Pet alone would have made a better ad. Better still, I’ rather have Shamser Sindhu running around the gas station to make sure that everybody follows the safety regulations. I wouldn’t mind at all if he sprays me with the fire extinguisher!

Think the sun shines out of somebody’s arse

I got to watch Akademi Fantasia for the first time last night. I still couldn’t understand why Malaysians could be so emotional every time. Life must go on and I can assure you that those who have been eliminated would definitely get back on their feet in no time. The strangest thing is we can’t seem to critic the contestants since all the fanatics will strikes back with rage. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day the headlines in the newspapers bear this title: Wife asks for divorce because husband doesn’t support Mawi of AF3.


There was one contestant who sang Norah Jones’s number last night. She couldn’t project her voice for god sake but still she was not eliminated. I believe that she totally relied on her sex appeal rather than her talent. Instead the girl who had a better singing skill was out. I strongly believed that the better girl had to be eliminated because she is fat and not as hot as the other chick. It’s so unfair and I think I would write a letter to Astro and suggest them to change the name of Akademi Fantasia to Akademi Vogue.


IMHO, it was inappropriate of Astro to have a snippet on why the headscarves sales have increased tremendously because Mawi said that he wants to have a wife who wears headscarf and knows how to massage. I know it might sounds crazy, but I feel like they are mocking the Muslim women. They made it sounds like the women wore the Mawi World headscarves in order to get themselves in his list. It really is degrading the purpose of wearing headscarves let alone the main reason why women wear them.

My Fave Companion

I don’t feel like talking to him anymore.


I beg to differ

Somebody said that it was strange of me to read poems. It can be so tiring when people keep saying these things:

1) Why would you want to read this?
2) Do you want to show off by reciting the poem?
3) Why do you have lots of books in your room?
4) Why would you want to read books when you can find all the things on the net?

Since I am no master in cursing, the best that I could do is to force a smile sigh

Saddest Poem

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,

and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.

I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.

How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.

And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.

The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.

My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.

My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.

We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.

My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's.

As she oncebelonged to my kisses.

Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.

Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,

my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,

and this may be the last poem I write for her.

Pablo Neruda

Drooling!

Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter Lyrics

And so it is

Just like you said it would be

Life goes easy on me

Most of the time

And so it is

The shorter story

No love, no glory

No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you

I can't take my eyes off you

I can't take my eyes off of you

I can't take my eyes off you

I can't take my eyes off you

I can't take my eyes...

And so it is

Just like you said it should be

We'll both forget the breeze

Most of the time

And so it is

The colder water

The blower's daughter

The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you

I can't take my eyes off you

I can't take my eyes off of you

I can't take my eyes off you

I can't take my eyes off you

I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?

Did I say that I want to

Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you

I can't take my mind off you

I can't take my mind off of you

I can't take my mind off you

I can't take my mind off you

I can't take my mind...

My mind...my mind...

'Til I find somebody new

Beggars can't be choosers

I have sold my soul to the devil

I sold my soul to the devil and I was very cheap!

Well, have started working. Lots of people are very happy to learn that I’ve landed myself a job. It was great to know that. But the problem is: I don’t like the job and I simply accept the job offer because I need money. Yes! I sold my soul to the devil. And I’m very proud of it. Literally.

I have to drag myself off the bed daily. I was late for my training the other day. Still, I never motivate myself to get up early everyday. Odd? Don't think so.

Assessment?

Well I barely passed my 1st assessment. I don’t give my 100% in the class and always have my toilet breaks far too often. It’s not my fault if the trainer doesn’t know how to engage my attention, isn’t it? I nearly throw away my notes this afternoon. I couldn’t read my own handwriting, which looked like a cross between sardine fishbone and worms.
The funny thing is, though I always fall asleep during my training but still my group members trust my explanations more than those given by my ever so dedicated team leader.

She’s what?

She’s the type of person who takes note effortlessly. I can’t stand to see her notebook, which looks like a textbook including the charts and everything. She is the girl in your class whom you always borrow her notebook so you can photocopy the contents. What I can’t stand the most about her: her advices on how to live. No offence, but so far I believe that I’m doing just fine.

Tokyo story

Got to catch the movie on Sunday. I rushed over to GSC after my Shorinji Kempo class. It was harrowing though a bit slow. Tears started streaming to my eyes when the mother passed away. Now I know for certain why I was glad that Abah left us without saying his goodbye.
What a great way to celebrate father’s day.

Happy Father’s Day

Well, I missed last year’s father’s day celebration. The rest of family members had a small gathering at home and celebrated the day with abah, for the very last time without us knowing it.

I still remember the conversation that I had with him on his birthday last year. I spoiled his surprise party by revealing it to him hours before Gebob and Kojeh came over with his cake and presents.

Came to think of it, I kind of regretting my decision not to go back to celebrate his birthday. He told me on the phone that the party would be more meaningful if I was there so he could blow the candles with all his children on his side.

I wish 19 of August would never come this year. It would be distressing just to think of it. I wish I was home last year, on the 19th of August and blew the candles with Abah.

My Fave Companion

I saw him quite often lately. I have started joining back my SK class and he had been appointed as my mentor. He had accepted it with open arms since it means he could kick my butt, with a license from the sensei sigh

He started to gossip me with the guy from my class since the guy always wants me to be his partner. My fave companion even claimed that this guy purposely let me throw him around in order to win my attention. What a gossip!

Still, I love him to bits.

My fave someone

He’s not feeling well. Get well soooooon! Miss our outing.

If You Forget Me

I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon,

at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window,

if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log,

everything carries me to you,

as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals,

were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly you forget me do not look for me,

for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,

the wind of banners that passes through my life,

and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots,

remember that on that day,

at that hour,

I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land.

But if each day,

each hour,

you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness,

if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me,

ah my love,

ah my own,

in me all that fire is repeated,

in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,

my love feeds on your love,

beloved,

and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

I always hurt ur feeling?

DID I HURT UR FEELING?

My love is lost..............

There is a pain in my heart that brings tears in my eyes

I am sad because my love hurts me

My love, like a sky without clouds, like a river without fishes and like an ocean without waves

I am sad because my love left me alone

The stars are in the sky are not glittering

The moon in the sky is not sailing

The cool breeze is not touching me

I am sad because my love don't care for me

The truth always become lie

The love always become trouble

The understanding always become fail

I am sad because my love don't trust me

The thoughts in my mind become waste

The dreams in my heart cannot be fulfilled

The life in the world brings me an emptiness

I am sad because my love need me no more

Ravi Sathasivam / Sri Lanka

i am sorry if ever hurt ur feelings..though at times u did hurt mine..but i didn't even bother..have i crossed the line this time?

This is a vodoo heart..so don't play play with me!i vodoo u!

"I Bruise Easily"

My skin is like a map

Of where my heart has been

And I cant hide the marksIts not a negative thing

So I let down my guard

Drop my defences down by my clothes

I'm learning to fall

With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily

So be gentle when u handle me

Theres a mark you leave

Like a love heart carved on a treeI bruise easily

Cant stratch the surface

Without moving me underneath

I bruise easily

I bruise easily

I found you fingerprints

On a glass of wine

Do you know you're leaving them

All over this heart of mine too

But if I never take this leap of faith

I'll never know

So im learning to fall

With no safety net to cushion the blow

Anyone who can touch you

Can hurt you or heal u

Anyone who can reach you

Can love you or leave u

So be gentle

I bruise easily

I bruise easily