Your Love Style is Agape |
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
In Raya Mode
Monday, October 16, 2006
Letter to self
Hi self, hope you’re doing just fine. But I could sense that you’re feeling a bit under the weather. Maybe you should give your brain a day off from thinking all about you and people around you as well. You’d feel much better after doing that.
I know what’s bothering you the most. You always think about relationships. I know, I know. You’re not worry about being single or whatever, not even after reading how dangerous it is to be single in CLEO. You wonder why it is so hard to maintain a good relationship with your colleagues, old and new ones as well as your friends from school, college and social rings. You wonder why only a few people keep in touch with you after you left the school or department, right? Maybe because you don’t have any benefits for them or perhaps they are sick and tired of you. Who knows what they really think. So let’s move on, shall we?
The old friend that suddenly called you up after 10 years did stir up your emotions a little bit, didn’t it? I know that you were stunned when she asked why you never kept in touch with her. She used to be a good friend but people change. You just couldn’t tell her that, right? Don’t tell me that you feel inferior upon knowing that she’s married to the son of a very successful businessman, don’t you? I know that you thought of blasting her off to the Neptune when you told her the name of your company and she thought that you assemble the hand phone. She never changed it seems, still thought that no one could ever go above her. It’s not hard to figure out why you don’t want to have any connections wit her. Then another phone call from someone that you knew from your childhood brought back the memories of you and your dad. Move on self! Your dad had past away for 2 years now. Even your mum could get over him sooner than you thought of.
Have you finished up the resolutions for your birthday? I found out that one of the resolutions that you have is to shortlist your circle of friends. Are you planning to dump some of your friends? A piece of advice: Just dump those that call you up once a year with either of these reasons: don’t forget the present. My birthday is next week or my gf/bf dumped me. I need someone to talk to!
You happened to see your favourite someone this weekend I heard. Did you have a great time together? Hey what’s with the sulky face? Well, you know how things work with you two. Just go with the flow. Besides, you learn some new things about yourself and him as well every time you guys meet. Don’t be so selfish. He needs supports and you know exactly what it feels like to be trapped in such situation. You know best how to overcome it and I believe that it’d mean a lot to him if you could try your best to soothe him rather than letting him wanders around like a mentally sick person. Just forget that he ever said that you could be as annoying as you could be. This is the least that you can do I reckon.
It’s Monday morning and you don’t feel like going to work tomorrow, don’t you? Well, it’s kind of hard to say any good things about going to work. I know you feel a bit tense, especially when you are caught up in the bitter relationship with the witch secretary and the moron assistant. I couldn’t stop laughing when your face changed its colour upon hearing the answer from the moron assistant when you told her that the printer ran out of paper and you had to print out your reports because your boss needed them urgently. I know that you almost exploded when you heard her reply. “Then what should I do?”. Man, that was enough to make your blood pressure go sky high. What’s with Thursday the stationery day? It is the most ridiculous thing ever. What if you need to use a marker for your presentation on Monday? Do you still need to wait for Thursday? Sheesh! That’s really a pain in the ass, isn’t it? The best reason that I could come up with is that they are hired to make people’s life miserable. You know that you’re not the only person who has to face the stupid acts. Cheer up self! Walk with your chin up and pretend that you see no evil, hear no evil and talk to no evil.
What’s with the competition that a girlfriend wanted to have with you? She just couldn’t resist the temptation to compete in everything, couldn’t she? Who got the best job (I guess you both got a lousy job hahah), the highest pay, the best boyfriend (you both are draw in this, thank god. No heart feeling aye?). The competition would go on and on and on in each and every things. I couldn’t say much on this because I know she won’t quit. Just let her race with her own self, shall we?
It has been two agonizing years. Time does fly and maybe soon we can see a pink pig flying over your car. Do you remember how dreadful it was for you to live before? You lost your dad and you were jobless and no one knew about it but you and a few friends. I just couldn’t forget the last trip to granny’s house when dad told your granny that he was relieved that you had a job and lived well. What he didn’t know that time was that you quit your job a week before. Dad would be frustrated if he knew it, wouldn’t he? Let’s move ahead. The dark ages had gone. You finally got a decent job and slowly building up your life. Perhaps you’d be a better person after what you have went through.
Life is hard isn’t it? I know that you keep thinking about your dad lately. You know that you couldn’t tell your mum how difficult it is to build your life from scratch and the only person that could really understand you was your dad. It’s normal to feel like a lost puppy but hey you got me. You could always confide in me. You know how much I love you, my one and only self.
I know what’s bothering you the most. You always think about relationships. I know, I know. You’re not worry about being single or whatever, not even after reading how dangerous it is to be single in CLEO. You wonder why it is so hard to maintain a good relationship with your colleagues, old and new ones as well as your friends from school, college and social rings. You wonder why only a few people keep in touch with you after you left the school or department, right? Maybe because you don’t have any benefits for them or perhaps they are sick and tired of you. Who knows what they really think. So let’s move on, shall we?
The old friend that suddenly called you up after 10 years did stir up your emotions a little bit, didn’t it? I know that you were stunned when she asked why you never kept in touch with her. She used to be a good friend but people change. You just couldn’t tell her that, right? Don’t tell me that you feel inferior upon knowing that she’s married to the son of a very successful businessman, don’t you? I know that you thought of blasting her off to the Neptune when you told her the name of your company and she thought that you assemble the hand phone. She never changed it seems, still thought that no one could ever go above her. It’s not hard to figure out why you don’t want to have any connections wit her. Then another phone call from someone that you knew from your childhood brought back the memories of you and your dad. Move on self! Your dad had past away for 2 years now. Even your mum could get over him sooner than you thought of.
Have you finished up the resolutions for your birthday? I found out that one of the resolutions that you have is to shortlist your circle of friends. Are you planning to dump some of your friends? A piece of advice: Just dump those that call you up once a year with either of these reasons: don’t forget the present. My birthday is next week or my gf/bf dumped me. I need someone to talk to!
You happened to see your favourite someone this weekend I heard. Did you have a great time together? Hey what’s with the sulky face? Well, you know how things work with you two. Just go with the flow. Besides, you learn some new things about yourself and him as well every time you guys meet. Don’t be so selfish. He needs supports and you know exactly what it feels like to be trapped in such situation. You know best how to overcome it and I believe that it’d mean a lot to him if you could try your best to soothe him rather than letting him wanders around like a mentally sick person. Just forget that he ever said that you could be as annoying as you could be. This is the least that you can do I reckon.
It’s Monday morning and you don’t feel like going to work tomorrow, don’t you? Well, it’s kind of hard to say any good things about going to work. I know you feel a bit tense, especially when you are caught up in the bitter relationship with the witch secretary and the moron assistant. I couldn’t stop laughing when your face changed its colour upon hearing the answer from the moron assistant when you told her that the printer ran out of paper and you had to print out your reports because your boss needed them urgently. I know that you almost exploded when you heard her reply. “Then what should I do?”. Man, that was enough to make your blood pressure go sky high. What’s with Thursday the stationery day? It is the most ridiculous thing ever. What if you need to use a marker for your presentation on Monday? Do you still need to wait for Thursday? Sheesh! That’s really a pain in the ass, isn’t it? The best reason that I could come up with is that they are hired to make people’s life miserable. You know that you’re not the only person who has to face the stupid acts. Cheer up self! Walk with your chin up and pretend that you see no evil, hear no evil and talk to no evil.
What’s with the competition that a girlfriend wanted to have with you? She just couldn’t resist the temptation to compete in everything, couldn’t she? Who got the best job (I guess you both got a lousy job hahah), the highest pay, the best boyfriend (you both are draw in this, thank god. No heart feeling aye?). The competition would go on and on and on in each and every things. I couldn’t say much on this because I know she won’t quit. Just let her race with her own self, shall we?
It has been two agonizing years. Time does fly and maybe soon we can see a pink pig flying over your car. Do you remember how dreadful it was for you to live before? You lost your dad and you were jobless and no one knew about it but you and a few friends. I just couldn’t forget the last trip to granny’s house when dad told your granny that he was relieved that you had a job and lived well. What he didn’t know that time was that you quit your job a week before. Dad would be frustrated if he knew it, wouldn’t he? Let’s move ahead. The dark ages had gone. You finally got a decent job and slowly building up your life. Perhaps you’d be a better person after what you have went through.
Life is hard isn’t it? I know that you keep thinking about your dad lately. You know that you couldn’t tell your mum how difficult it is to build your life from scratch and the only person that could really understand you was your dad. It’s normal to feel like a lost puppy but hey you got me. You could always confide in me. You know how much I love you, my one and only self.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
This song keeps playing in my head
Hate Me I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my headThey crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bedDropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alonePlaying movies in my head that make a porno feel like homeThere's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brainAn ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted spaceHate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youI'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me withThe one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch againIn a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at nightWhile I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fightYou never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hateYou made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to takeSo I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mindAnd do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behindHate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youAnd with a sad heart I say bye to you and waveKicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had madeAnd like a baby boy I never was a manUntil I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my handAnd then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to beAnd then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"Hate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for you
Monday, October 02, 2006
The 9th day of Ramadhan
All Good Things (Come To An End) - Nelly Furtado
Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.
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