Tuesday, January 16, 2007



When I was young,
I used to
Watch behind the curtains
As men walked up and down the street.
Wino men, old men.
Young men sharp as mustard.
See them.
Men are always
Going somewhere.
They knew I was there.
Fifteen Years old and starving for them.
Under my window, they would pauses,
Their shoulders high like the
Breasts of a young girl,
Jacket tails slapping over
Those behinds,Men.
One day they hold you in the
Palms of their hands, gentle, as if you
Were the last raw egg in the world.
They tighten up.
Just a little.
TheFirst squeeze is nice.
A quick hug.
Soft into your defenselessness.
A littleMore.
The hurt begins.
Wrench out a
Smile that slides around the fear.
When the
Air disappears,
Your mind pops,
exploding fiercely,
Like the head of a kitchen match.
It is your juice
That runs down their legs.
Staining their shoes.
When the earth rights itself again,
And taste tries to return to the tongue,
Your body has slammed shut.
No keys exist.
Then the window draws full upon
Your mind.
There, just beyond
The sway of curtains, men walk.
Knowing something.
Going someplace.
But this time, I will simply
Stand and watch.

Maya Angelou

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Joyeux anniversaire

Passe une tres tres bonne annee !
(Merci David)

Hold within your arms a sun

And let it smile and wish you well.

Play with it, and when you're done,

Put it where you'll never tell.

Your sun will smile just for you,

Being yours, and yours alone,

Inside your palace, out of view,

Resting in a place unknown.

The sun I wish for you is bright,

Happy doing what suns will:Daring to hold off the night

As loves and dreams your future fill,

Your cares caress and sorrows still.

Spot the grammatical errors!

I wish I could slang him for his grammatical errors*sigh*

As we know, XXX is a experience person on the transmissions. He studies the documents deeply and the installation! He cannot accept small mistake even the tape error! on the documentation, otherwise the document will be rejected. xxx and I have met him regarding the documentation issue.
He comment and requested as shown below:

1.) Formatting issue -
The Site A status and information must be lower side band then follow by upper side band as site B including Site survey information, Drawing layout, Photo and ATP.

2.) Paper quality.

3.) Layout issue -
The propose antenna, feeder run and IDU position drawing must teally to the photo taken at site before and after the installation.
- The feeder length must indicate at all the position. for example: feeder length count from antenna position to IDU position.
- The tower length position must indicate: A, B, C and D. For example: (Drawing Top-view) If the North position facing to top, the A indication is located at the top of the right-hand side tower -leg (clockwise).

4.) Factory test result on the microwave equipment.

5.) All the test result must attach to the document such:
- Frequency scanning spectrum result.
- AGC flat-fit margin result.
- BER performance result.
- Softwave configuration.

6.) Signature on the document process follows the table contents and not compile together.

7.) He prefers the BER performance result by using the original paper from Digital transmissions analyzer and not using A4 generated from soft-wave.

Notice: We cannot fix a target or deadline to Sub-cons as similar like Node-B because we need to submit one example completed document as according to (^O^) standard. Let him comment on the PDH documentation until he feels that our PDH document satisfactorily. If the PDH document approved by XXX. We must let him to sign on the confirmation on the PDH format (acknowledgment) to prevent of him to propose new ideas on the documents format in future.
Action : After everything is confirm then we will start to fix a target or deadline to sub-cons for the PDH submissions

***this is a sign that I am too bored at work***

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Love - Overrated?


Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.
And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran

I just came out of the team meeting. It had been cancelled twice since everybody was busy with their own activities i.e : meeting the customers, de tour to somewhere else on the way to meeting, calling in sick etc. We finally managed to attend the meeting though I was like 15mins late. It all started with my- so- called -helper- who- keeps- sending-emails -with -lots- of -grammatical- errors (which I cannot tolerate any longer) had made an appointment with the subcon.I was not aware of his appointment with them and what made it worst? He pretended that he knew everything but he wasn't and I ended up having to explain everything to them. The frosting on the cake? My team mates let me sat next to my boss which meant that I would have to nod and to show lots of interest though the agendas were mainly shite. The boss wished us Happy New Year then the resolutions and objectives of the team. He then appointed some of us to lead a weekly meeting which I supposed was unnecessary since we always have discussion over coffee at 4pm daily hahaha. The assignment for the next meeting : a 300 words essay on our objectives and missions for 2007. Interesting huh? Now would anybody want to volunteer to do my part? LOL
Am reading 3 books simultaneously - purification of heart, lissey's story and american gods. The last book that I read from Stephen King was black house. Lissey's story very much reminded me why I fell in love with his writing when i was in form 1. get a copy of the comic tragedy or the tragedy comic by neil gaiman i suppose you'll be hooked with his writing.
Nothing much going on

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Mind your languange

Email received today

Since you are committed the deadline to complete 10 pending documentation.
I have lock in to the Database as a record.
Be aware, the serious action will be taking if you are not complete as according to the deadline.
Please call me immediately if you facing any problem during the process of documentation.
Once again, the deadline of submission is 11-01-2007.
**Man,I should just shoot the sender**

Bonne et heureuse annee!!!!


Tonight we drink to youth& holding fast to truth.
(I don’t want to lose what I had as a boy.)
My heart still has a beat
but love is now a feat
(as common as a cold day in LA.)

Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder/is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?
Love hurts
but sometimes it’s a good hurt & it feels like I’m alive.
Love sings
when it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart & try me,
‘cause without love I won’t survive.

I’m fettered & abused
I stand naked & accused.
(should I surface this one man submarine?)
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth!
(I’ll never lose what I had as a boy.)
Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder
is there a spell that I am under/keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts…
but sometimes it’s a good hurt & it feels like I’m alive.
Love sings
when it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart & try me,
‘cause without love I won’t survive.