Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Frequently asked questions

In everyday life, we need to communicate with other humans as well as some bollocks and a few aliens that cross our path. During the daily verbal communications, we are repeatedly asked with the same questions over and over again that sometimes you wish that you could put a spell on the person and make her mouth disappears. For instance, when we read the tabloid magazine we could always see that there’d be quite a lot of morons that happened to be journalists and ask the same artist the same questions over and over again. Thus we bound to read the same facts about the same artist in different magazines i.e. what’s his favourite colour and what’s his favourite food.

So here are some FAQs and a few statements that I have to answer or argue when people either get to know that I work in the company that I’m working in now or my interests. The questions and answers provided by no means should be classified as racism statements.

Is it true that French smell like fish? (This happens to be the most famous questions asked especially by those who happened to have a bad experience in the bus or lrt with the tourists)

What I know of is that they are not so fond of seafood. While there would be one or two that would smell like stinky socks even from meters away, I should say that in general they smell ok. With an exception of a few that smell really nice with their after-shave and perfume.

Which one is better in the look department: French, Spanish or Italian? (Asked by a few girls who love to watch telenovela on TV)

As for today, I should say that it’s definitely Spanish (based on the latest addition in my former department) LOL. One thing for sure the French and the Italian that I familiar with really know how to choose good chocolates!

French have the best pick up lines, right?

For this question, I definitely don’t have any ideas since none of them have ever tried to pick me up. LOL

How could you concentrate on your work while you are surrounded with people who have a very sexy accent?

Sexy? Iz diz for rrreal? I can’t really tell. But when I joined the department I wish I could have a translator because I hardly understand them. Thank god that I’m still in one piece!

How do you kill the fish?


I just don’t know. Like my first experience with Norlia and Ghani, I happened to overfeed them and they ended up death with the sin of gluttony. The rest of them just died without any scientific explanations. Maybe I should call Grissom from the CSI to help me out. But then it’d be hard since most of them had been flushed down the toilet!

Why do you have more than 3 pairs of shoes?

I need 1 shoes for my lazy days, 1 shoes for my weekends, 1 sneakers for exercising which I don’t use that much though I always remind myself to. Come to think of it, I know deep down I want to be the next Imelda Marcos.

How could you still live with your weird housemate?

Though we only speak about 100 words a month which consists of several phrases like: Jemput makan (Bon appetite) and Akak balik kampong minggu ni (I’m going back to my hometown this weekend), along with her hideous tactic to make me take the garbage out by putting the garbage in the plastic bag and leave it on my shoes though it is her turn to take them out I could still bear with her. The sole reason? It’s the cheapest place with a very convenient access to the public transportation!

You’re still studying are you? I always see you reading in the LRT station (asked by a moron in my new department who bump into me occasionally in the lift or LRT station)

As typical as it seems, some Malaysians thought that we read only while we are still studying. One doesn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that reading is the key to knowledge. Talking about reading, I happened to read an interview with the National Library’s Director General in the Star last Sunday. I just can’t make up what to say about him but I suppose I shall let you guys read the snippets of the interview and tell me what’s your opinion.

How many books are in the new wing?
I am not sure.More books..maybe three times the number in the old area.

You also have a nice new roof! How much did it cost?
More than RM5mil.

How much did the new books in the new wing cost?
I’m not very sure, but very much more than what we spent the year before.

Updates on my quest to become an aquarist
I have killed the seventh fish today. Lucky 7 or what?
If you want to support the government's campaign on buying the original CD and your money is just enough to buy 1 CD, then the CD to buy should be Sergio Mendes latest album, Timeless. It's worth every penny!
Please Baby Don’t - Sergio Mendes ft John Legend

Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I (honey I)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
I've been cruisin down this road for a while now,
I should tell the truth...
Girl you've been so good to me but I know
I'm no good for you
You should run while you can
Find yourself a better man
'Cause I'm known for brief romance
And breakin hearts across the land
Yes I've been known to have a few temptations
Out there on the road
And let's say hypothetically I've slipped and
Took a couple home
Girl I know that's not fair
You need someone who'll be there
So just get away before it's too late
and you're pain is too much to bear
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
(rhodes piano solo)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I'm (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Now on second thought maybe we'll give
This love another try
'Cause I can't see you with no one else
I'm selfish I can't lie
So let's go, let's go slow
You know all you need to know
It could end one day but
Let's just say we'll see how far it goes
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I'm (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me

2 messages:

fae said...

you forgot "how often do the frenchies eat snails" and "i bet they make a mean frech fries ad french toast!"...hohum (^^)

ps/ aku da pandai link - haritu malas blaja

Ida said...

Comment on that interview : Poyo!

Comment on those FAQs : Oh well, they do need to get out of their shells....

Comment (or rather questions) on the dead fish : Who died? And how?