If I were to die tonight

I will let my favourite someone knows how much he means to me. I’d recite him this poem :

Your Laughter

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.

Do not take away the rose,
the lance flower that you pluck,
the water that suddenly
bursts forth in joy,
the sudden wave
of silver born in you.

My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.

My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword.

Next to the sea in the autumn,
your laughter must raise
its foamy cascade,and in the spring, love,
I want your laughter like
the flower I was waiting for,
the blue flower, the rose
of my echoing country.

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,deny me bread, air,
light, spring,but never your laughter
for I would die.

Pablo Neruda

I might not get to finish the poem as it would be possible that he falls asleep or he would stop me from reciting it. There would be a higher percentage of me being nagged all day long for having the silly idea of wasting my last hours doing all these things. It doesn’t matter what he’s going to say since it won’t make any difference. I won’t care a bit about his response on the verge of my death. I’ll definitely be on the other side while he would have to cope with my death and the words that I have uttered before. He might have depression afterwards and have to see the shrink daily. I am pathetic, am I? LOL

I’d type the longest email ever and send it to Macca. In it, I will let him know that I don’t hold any grudges against him. I might as well leave my vcd/dvd/cd collections to him, depending on my sanity at that very moment. I shall then give him a call and demand him to confess that United is the best team in the whole universe and tell him to wear United’s jersey to work. Nobody would dare to let down any dying souls wouldn’t they?

I shall give all my books to my nephews and nieces. They’ll love it!
**Note to self:
1) blanco all the steamy parts!!!
2) explain to Angah that I don’t read dinasours books because it’s so uncool of me to read them. I only read the dinasours books to them but not to myself.
3) reading horror novels doesn’t make you any braver
4) advise Along not to button up his shirts up to his neck. He might end up being a geek when he grows up. God Forbid!

I will have one last meal with all the people that care to turn out at my farewell party. Friends new and old ones, Shamser Sindhu (drooling), Nicholas Saputra (dying to meet him in person) and Brad Pitt (this would be my last wish LOL) to have a drink with me. I might ask Brandon Boyd to sing me some songs too. It’d be party of the year then. Anuar Zain might offer to sing at the party for free. Jimmy Choo would send me a pair of kitten heels to wear so that I won’t die with my eyes open because I never got the chance to wear his collections in my entire life.Hey! Maybe I should sell the tickets to my party! Any takers?

I should tell mom that I love her cooking so much. I shall ask her to stop cooking for Gebob and Kojeh. It would be unfair of her to cook for them while I won’t be able to taste them anymore. Selfish?Hell I am!!

I might give my shirts to Kak Chik and Kak Yong so they would look retro when they wear them in 10 years. Gosh!They might be the next fashionistas!

Most probably, I’ll write down a movie script and pass it to Visitor so he could direct it with David Teh Cap Lipton and Usop Selam. Mom would be really proud of me.

Definitely, I’ll let everyone knows that I love them all so much. Though I doubt that I get as much as I’ve given out. It’s ok. Good things will come to those who are sincere.

I have to meet my fave companion first, so that I could kick him on the crotch and leave him lying on the roadside while a few wild dogs start to bite his butts. That would make me happy, definitely!