Expectation?Hallucination? Alien Nation is more like it!

I remember when I was small; the literature book that I first read was Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I never read it again. I hated the book and I didn’t know why it was back then. It came back to me now. I hated the title. What is so great about expectations?

Everyone have their expectations in life. It depends on the person to set up their expectant level. As for me I have no expectations in life and so far it works just fine, thank you. For some maybe they have set up such a high level of expectation that after a while when they realize that their expectation is not met, they feel frustrated and angst. Somebody might end up being the so called victim when this person vents their frustration off. This is the most ridiculous thing to do since you might lose the respect and might need to work a lot harder to earn it back.

I have been lending my ears to some people lately. Be it about work or life it always comes down to one thing and one thing only – expectations not met. When I told people that I don’t usually plan my life and I don’t have much expectations I usually get the rolling eyes or worst – Are you nuts? What they don’t know is that it makes me feel good. Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to brag about how zen my life is. I don’t feel stress if I don’t meet peer group's expectations of having big cars which equals to bigger amount of debt to bank, own a house or two and perhaps could afford to go round the world. I never fully believe in what William Congreve says: Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life. Uncertainty?Yes, please. Expectation? Hmmmm..let me get back to you after a few years.

To those who now just realized that their expectations are not met in this shit hole, I beg you to stop your whining. You might end up being referred to as an effing nuisance. Yes, everybody had the same dream like yours when they first came in and now they are stuck in the same merde as you are but no we don’t shout to others. We are civilized people who still have our dignity and keep our rationality intact. Mak nyah desperate kat Lorong Haji Taib jek suka jerit-jerit panggil pelanggan ni. If you feel like leaving please do. We are more than happy to fork out some money from our tabung ayam to buy your farewell gift and pretend to be sad though faker is written all over our face when you are about to leave on your last day. No worries, we could handle the workload and I will personally make sure that you won’t be missed.

So now I am living in uncertainty. My work is nothing but a mere delusion of grandeur. The thing is I am neither happy nor frustrated with how things are. At times, it does feels like there’s a cloud hanging over me. I am too tired to let all the constant worry lingers so I live my life as it is. Party onnnnnnnn! Maybe I would be out of work soon, who knows but one thing for sure it’s not that I am in terror of my life.

Pride is seldom delicate, it will please itself with very mean advantages; and envy feels not its own happiness, but when it may be compared with the misery of others – Samuel Johnson

It started with a low light,
Next thing I knew they ripped me from my bed
And then they took my blood type
It left a strange impression in my head.
You know that I was hoping,
That I could leave this
star-crossed world behind
But when they cut me open,
I guess I changed my mind.

And you know I might
Have just flown too far from
the floor this time
Cause they're calling me by my name
And the zipping white light beams
Disregarding bombs and satellites

That was the turning point
That was one lonely night

The star maker says, "It ain´t so bad"
The dream maker's gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down
it´s all in your mind"

Well now I´m back at home, and
I´m looking forward to this life I live
You know it´s gonna haunt me
So hesitation to this life I give.
You think you might cross over,
you´re caught between the devil
and the deep blue sea
You better look it over,
Before you make that leap

And you know I´m fine,
But I hear those voices at night sometimes-
They justify my claim,
And the public don´t dwell on my transmission
Cause it wasn´t televised

But, it was the turning point,
Oh what a lonely night

The star maker says, "It ain´t so bad"
The dream maker's gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down
it´s all in your mind"

The star maker says, "It ain´t so bad"
The dream maker's gonna make you mad;
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down
it´s all in your mind"

My global position systems
are vocally addressed
They say the Nile used to
run from East to West,
They say the Nile used to run...
From East to West.

I´m fine
But I hear those voices at night
Sometime...

The star maker says, "It ain´t so bad"
The dream maker's gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down
it´s all in your mind"
The star maker says, "It ain´t so bad"
The dream maker's gonna make you mad;
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down
it´s all in your mind"

It´s all in my mind
it´s all in my mind