be like a bear with a sore head

I look like Takeshi Kaneshiro in this pic when in a meeting

I suppose it might be a bit early to review about my life in 2006 since we are still in week 50. I am getting used to using week instead of days or months since I started to forecast my activities at work on weekly basis.

Work

As always, passionless. Everybody is behind my back even the guy who is supposed to support me in my mission to reach the management target. I don’t know how it happened but I ended up having to support him instead. I almost bite his head off when he kept asking me every half an hour if I could release 100 docs in 2 weeks. I kept telling him that it’d be difficult to do so since we have to push lots of people but it’s like banging your head against a brick wall.

Movies

OSS 117

2 Thumbs Up! I actually watched it after having a great time seeing Daniel Craig in James Bond. What I can say is this: after seeing OSS117 one wouldn’t want to watch James Bond anymore, literally.

Wedding Crashers

Total craps but what the heck? It’s a feel good movie anyway.

Wedding Date

Funny and sad, as usual.

I almost watched My Best Friend’s Wedding. If not I’d be watching 3 movies with the word wedding in it back to back. Muahahahahhahhahahahahahahah.

Family

Mum had her cataract removed last week. Another nites spent in the hospital and god knows how glad I was when mum was discharged. It was a very hectic weekend actually. I went over for a short holiday then I rushed back to take care of Mum. She was afraid that I couldn’t make it as Gebob was sick and Kojeh was having her exam. But hey, one got to what one’s got to do. Mum was calmer this time compared to her first time. She didn’t cry anymore and could casually mention to other patients about Abah and how he died.

Misc

As mad as a hatter with someone that I definitely couldn’t afford to. I just don’t know what to do with myself.


p/s : my posting is getting shorter these days..i blame it on my boss, AdF.The guy with the worst hairdo in the whole company

"Anna-Molly"

A cloud hangs over,

It's a city by the sea,

I watch the ships pass and wonder if she might be,

Out there and sober as a well for loneliness,

Please do persist girl its time we met and made, a mess

I picture your face in the back of my eyes,

A fire in the attic a proof of the prize,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Doo doo doo doo do doo doo doo doo doo

A cloud hangs over,

And mutes my happiness,

A thousand ships couldn't send me back from distress,

Wish you were here,

I'm a wounded satellite,

I need you now put me back together make me right

I picture your face in the back of my eyes a fire in the attic a proof of the prize,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

I'm calling your name up into the air

Not one of the others could ever compare!

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Wait there is a light,

There is a fire illuminated attic,

Fate or something better I could care less,

Just stay with me a while,

Wait there is a light, there is a fire defragmenting the attic,

Fate or something better I could care less,

Just stay with me a while

I picture your face in the back of my eyes a fire in the attic a proof of the prize,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly,

I'm calling your name up into the air.Not one of the others could ever compare!

Anna-Molly,

Anna-Molly!

Bonjour Tristesse

Brad Pitt in Babel

Am busy like hell but still I need to write something. November is definitely the month of sadness for me. Lots of things happened in November i.e. my beloved abah (may god bless his soul) passed away on 17 November and of course I was born in November years ago.

Time does fly. It’s already two years but it feels like yesterday. His love will always be felt by those that knew him. My family still talk about him in present tense as if he was still alive. I suppose we’d still talk in that way in many years to come.

Al- Fatihah.

Let's move on to the happier notes, shall we?

Movies

I have seen lots of movies lately, either in DVD’s or in the cinema itself.

Death Note

Death Note is highly recommended and believe me, you don’t need to be the reader of it’s manga to understand what the heck is death note. I suppose the trailer shown on TV doesn’t truly justify the movie. A few friends were fooled by the trailer and they thought that it is a horror movie. For a better review on this movie, read here: http://tontonfilem.blog-city.com/

Cinta

Thanks to Fadz for the invitation to Cinta’s premiere. Like lots of other people wrote down in their blog, Cinta definitely promises something else. I personally like the performances of Rashidi Ishak, Pierre Andre, Sh Amani and her mom, Fatimah Abu Bakar and last but not least Dato’ Rahim Razali. They have many songs in it but the one that I like the most is by Anuar Zain. Man, I do hope that he’d come out with a new album sooooooooon!

Go and see for yourself! And please don’t forget your hanky though.

p/s : Piere Andre rawkz! :P

"Te Busqué"(feat. Juanes)

I've been high I've been low
I've been fast I've been slow
I've had nowhere to go
Missed the bus missed the show
I've been down on my luck
I've felt like giving up
My life locked in a trunk
When it hurt way too much
I needed a reason to live
Some love inside me to give
I couldn't rest I had to keep on searching

Te busqué debajo de las piedras y no te encontré
En la mañana fría y en la noche te busqué
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tú llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazón
Haciéndome sentir vivo otra vez.

I've been too sad to speak and too tired to eat
Been too lonely to sing the devil cut off my wings
I've been hurt by my past but I feel the future
In my dreams and it lasts I wake up I'm not sure
I wanted to find the light something just didn't feel right
I needed an answer to end all my searching
I look in the mirror the picture's getting clearer
I wanna be myself but does the world really need her
I ache for this earthI stopped going to church
See God in the trees makes me fall to my knees
My depression keeps building like a cup overfilling
My heart so rigid I keep it in the fridge
It hurts so bad that I can't dry my eyes
Cuz they keep on refillin' with the tears that I cry...

Untuk lelaki yang ku kasihi

Tak Sepadan

Aku kira: Beginilah nanti jadinya
Kau kawin,beranak dan berbahagia
Sedang aku mengembara serupa Ahasveros.

Dikutuk-sumpahi Eros
Aku merangkaki dinding buta
Tak satu juga pintu terbuka

Jadi baik juga kita padami
Unggunan api ini
Karena kau tidak 'kan apa apa
Aku terpanggang tinggal rangka

Chairil Anwar
Feb 1943

In Raya Mode

since i don't feel like working, i utilised my working hours by doing this quiz. Folks, don't do this at work! :P

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

Letter to self

Hi self, hope you’re doing just fine. But I could sense that you’re feeling a bit under the weather. Maybe you should give your brain a day off from thinking all about you and people around you as well. You’d feel much better after doing that.

I know what’s bothering you the most. You always think about relationships. I know, I know. You’re not worry about being single or whatever, not even after reading how dangerous it is to be single in CLEO. You wonder why it is so hard to maintain a good relationship with your colleagues, old and new ones as well as your friends from school, college and social rings. You wonder why only a few people keep in touch with you after you left the school or department, right? Maybe because you don’t have any benefits for them or perhaps they are sick and tired of you. Who knows what they really think. So let’s move on, shall we?

The old friend that suddenly called you up after 10 years did stir up your emotions a little bit, didn’t it? I know that you were stunned when she asked why you never kept in touch with her. She used to be a good friend but people change. You just couldn’t tell her that, right? Don’t tell me that you feel inferior upon knowing that she’s married to the son of a very successful businessman, don’t you? I know that you thought of blasting her off to the Neptune when you told her the name of your company and she thought that you assemble the hand phone. She never changed it seems, still thought that no one could ever go above her. It’s not hard to figure out why you don’t want to have any connections wit her. Then another phone call from someone that you knew from your childhood brought back the memories of you and your dad. Move on self! Your dad had past away for 2 years now. Even your mum could get over him sooner than you thought of.

Have you finished up the resolutions for your birthday? I found out that one of the resolutions that you have is to shortlist your circle of friends. Are you planning to dump some of your friends? A piece of advice: Just dump those that call you up once a year with either of these reasons: don’t forget the present. My birthday is next week or my gf/bf dumped me. I need someone to talk to!

You happened to see your favourite someone this weekend I heard. Did you have a great time together? Hey what’s with the sulky face? Well, you know how things work with you two. Just go with the flow. Besides, you learn some new things about yourself and him as well every time you guys meet. Don’t be so selfish. He needs supports and you know exactly what it feels like to be trapped in such situation. You know best how to overcome it and I believe that it’d mean a lot to him if you could try your best to soothe him rather than letting him wanders around like a mentally sick person. Just forget that he ever said that you could be as annoying as you could be. This is the least that you can do I reckon.


It’s Monday morning and you don’t feel like going to work tomorrow, don’t you? Well, it’s kind of hard to say any good things about going to work. I know you feel a bit tense, especially when you are caught up in the bitter relationship with the witch secretary and the moron assistant. I couldn’t stop laughing when your face changed its colour upon hearing the answer from the moron assistant when you told her that the printer ran out of paper and you had to print out your reports because your boss needed them urgently. I know that you almost exploded when you heard her reply. “Then what should I do?”. Man, that was enough to make your blood pressure go sky high. What’s with Thursday the stationery day? It is the most ridiculous thing ever. What if you need to use a marker for your presentation on Monday? Do you still need to wait for Thursday? Sheesh! That’s really a pain in the ass, isn’t it? The best reason that I could come up with is that they are hired to make people’s life miserable. You know that you’re not the only person who has to face the stupid acts. Cheer up self! Walk with your chin up and pretend that you see no evil, hear no evil and talk to no evil.

What’s with the competition that a girlfriend wanted to have with you? She just couldn’t resist the temptation to compete in everything, couldn’t she? Who got the best job (I guess you both got a lousy job hahah), the highest pay, the best boyfriend (you both are draw in this, thank god. No heart feeling aye?). The competition would go on and on and on in each and every things. I couldn’t say much on this because I know she won’t quit. Just let her race with her own self, shall we?

It has been two agonizing years. Time does fly and maybe soon we can see a pink pig flying over your car. Do you remember how dreadful it was for you to live before? You lost your dad and you were jobless and no one knew about it but you and a few friends. I just couldn’t forget the last trip to granny’s house when dad told your granny that he was relieved that you had a job and lived well. What he didn’t know that time was that you quit your job a week before. Dad would be frustrated if he knew it, wouldn’t he? Let’s move ahead. The dark ages had gone. You finally got a decent job and slowly building up your life. Perhaps you’d be a better person after what you have went through.


Life is hard isn’t it? I know that you keep thinking about your dad lately. You know that you couldn’t tell your mum how difficult it is to build your life from scratch and the only person that could really understand you was your dad. It’s normal to feel like a lost puppy but hey you got me. You could always confide in me. You know how much I love you, my one and only self.

This song keeps playing in my head

Hate Me I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my headThey crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bedDropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alonePlaying movies in my head that make a porno feel like homeThere's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brainAn ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted spaceHate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youI'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me withThe one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch againIn a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at nightWhile I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fightYou never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hateYou made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to takeSo I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mindAnd do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behindHate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for youAnd with a sad heart I say bye to you and waveKicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had madeAnd like a baby boy I never was a manUntil I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my handAnd then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to beAnd then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"Hate me todayHate me tomorrowHate me for all the things I didn't do for youHate me in waysYeah ways hard to swallowHate me so you can finally see what's good for you

The 9th day of Ramadhan

All Good Things (Come To An End) - Nelly Furtado

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

A very peaceful Ramadhan

I was supposed to reach this certain target for my new department. Unfortunately, the so called experienced sub-cons had blown up my chance to prove my capability to my new boss. So what did I do to make me feel good? I blog :P

Since Faye had brought up the jeepers creepers name, then I suppose I should write an ode to her.

O jeepers creepers
You’re so hot like peppers
Your skirt is short just like strippers

O jeepers creepers
You like to pretend like you have Alzheimer’s
And you make us a little bonkers

O jeepers creepers
I wish I have a team of archers
But what I have is only a pair of bluchers

O jeepers creepers
You think you’re a charmer
But in fact only chiggers

I know if I start to complain more about the girls in my company, someone would say that I’m weird. hahahahahahah

The fasting is doing just fine. But since the first day, I only have 4 hours sleep and eat only once a day. Perhaps my body is still adjusting or most probably I become too tense and lost my appetite. Hopefully things will get better when I go back to see my family this weekend.

Since I drive to work for the past 2 months, I feel like my life is at stake every time I’m on the road. I saw an ads at the back of the metrobus : Guarantee to pass the driving exams! If based on the way the driver drove the bus, I think the company should be held responsible for ensuring that those bad drivers pass the exams and became the road bullies.

I bought a manga : museum of terror. I finished it up in one seating. My reading activity had actually stopped since I didn’t use the public transportation any longer. Sort of miss the rituals though

Everyone Deserves to Be Happy

pic courtesy of http://zforzzz.fotopages.com/


You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silent screaming blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

The faces that always make me want to go home.

The fasting month started quite well for me. As my creepy housemate went back to her hometown, I had the house for myself. Man, it was not easy to go through the first day of Ramadhan. As early as 2pm I could smelt the cooking from the neighbours. Sheesh! It reminded me of my parents when it came to the first day of Ramadhan, they both would always plan ahead on the menu days before the Ramadhan started. It was always fun in the house, especially when Abah volunteered to cook. He’d always argued with Mak about the ingredients and all while the three of us just sit back and relax, waiting for the neighbours to come over to exchange some of the cuisine.

These 2 pictures are the view from my new cubicle. The annoying guy in my previous posting had moved over to the new office. So, I took over his place. I thought I could get some peace here but obviously not.Too many people crammed into my cubicle this morning and this one particular guy would kept insisting on using my deskphone while he could use his mobile had really got my nerves.Man,it's only the second day of Ramadhan but I got a hunch that it's not going to be easy hahahahaha...

This picture was taken about a month ago in Bukit Genting,Penang. I had a lovely dinner with my fave someone. The food was great and the scenery was really breath taking.

untitled

How’s life treating you?

It’s been a while since I last updated my blog. I suppose that I’m on the verge of burning out. I have worked in the project for 3 months and I’ve been in the company for 1 year now. Shessh! How time flies.

Good News

Got a new position which is permanent. Man, I have changed my job 3 times in 9 months! Should have started this week but since the current boss is reluctant to let me go to the new department in such a short notice, I could only move in the first week of October.Sheesh!

I got a lot of new people who joined in my current department but none of them would be interesting enough to hang out with, not that I’m that interesting though haha. One of them said to me today, I suppose you should start smoking. It’d not only keep your body in shape but the most important thing is you could release your tension. Yeah right! Well, I reckon that I wouldn’t need to waste my money on cigarettes since I am an official second hand smoker. Perhaps, I should form a club for the active second hand smokers so that we could share some tips on how to lose the smell of smokes from your shirts etc.

I kind of oppose the idea of putting me in the adjacent cubicle with my boss’s secretary. It is tad boring not only because the boss would always come to see her but also because in the next cubicle is the planner who has a very negative aura. He would always complain on anything and everything and the good news is he’s a perfectionist. The other day I had to prepare the slides for my boss and as usual I put on some ‘cosmetics’ on my graphs and the figures so that it’d look smashing. What happened was that he called me up at 9pm while I was doing my grocery and said that all the figures were wrong and he wanted to change them. For god sake, I already mentioned in my email that the slides had too much make-up on, which was exactly like tepung gomak or at least a bit like Chinese opera in some ways. I was not certain which part of the sentence that he couldn’t understand. He insisted on changing them though the meeting was scheduled on the very next afternoon and it ended up that he didn’t have much time to finish them all. And yes! The boss was really pissed off. Good for him.

Lunch break could be a mind-numbing activity lately as I have a new companion who loves to talk about nothing else but work and fish. It’d either be about my-job-is-worse-than-you-and-you-wouldn’t-understand-how-shitty-my-job-is-since-no-matter-how-bad-thing-is-for-you-mine-would-still-be-the-worst or I-have-the-most-fish-compared to others.

GADIS JALAN BURMAH

Written by Shahredza Minhat directed by David Lim performed by Soefira Jaafar
In Gadis Jalan Burmah, Kartini Shuib, an unmarried Malay woman, who's about to "celebrate" her 42nd birthday, tells us about her attempts in trying to find her Mr. Right.
(Performance will be in English and Malay)
Stor Teater DBP, Bangunan Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka
12 Sept (Preview ), 13-16, 18-23 Sept @8.30pm
17 Sept (Sunday ) 3pm only
Admission by donation:
RM22 ( Adults), RM17 (Students ), RM15 (Preview night only )
For info and reservation, please contact 016.2022.057
Synopsis
The world keeps telling her that she is running out of time. However, 42-year-old Kartini Shuib thinks otherwise.

So on her birthday, while trying to bake her own birthday cake, she contemplates whether or not to go out with Kassim Rahman, an insurance salesman, as suggested by her mother. But then, memories of a Chinese pilot, a Doktor Haiwan from UPM, an American expat and her Mak Long Piah among others return to haunt her. What does it all mean? Or does it mean nothing, and that the world is actually right – that she is running out of time?

Performed with a delightful mix of colloquial English and BM, this one woman comedy marks the second "English" play written by Shahredza Minhat, the first being the critically acclaimed "Toast!", which the Malay Mail described as "one of those rare gems that seemingly come out of nowhere".

Sinopsis
Semua orang cakap Kartini Shuib dah 'takdak' time! Tapi Kartini Shuib, tak pernah peduli pun.
Sampailah ke harijadinya yang ke - 42, beliau telah didesak oleh ibunya untuk keluar berpacaran dengan Kassim Rahman, seorang jurujual insurans. Fikirannya mula bercelaru, apa lagi, beliau terus dengan gigih cuba membuat kek harijadi 'special' untuk menenangkan jiwanya. Namun, benaknya yang serabut itu kemudian didatangi memori-memori lama, seorang juruterbang berbangsa Cina, seorang doktor haiwan lulusan UPM, seorang ekspatriat dari Amerika, Mak Long Piah dan geng antara lain, yang kesemuanya kembali menghantui. Siapa hantui siapa sebenarnya? Apa maksud kedatangan mereka? Atau sememangnya semua tidak membawa sebarang maksud.
Atau mungkin betul apa semua orang cakap - memang Kartini Shuib sudah 'takdak' time!
Gadis Jalan Burmah – sebuah monolog yang pastinya mencuit hati. Dipersembahkan dalam Bahasa Inggeris dan Bahasa Melayu.

For more info: www.dramalab.com.my


Review will be posted soon!

A new lease of life

Words just get in the way

I had too many news for the past 2 weeks. But the most important, the most gigantic, the most bizarre of it all would be my housemate is moving out in a month. But what made it worst? She only told me about it after I bought the router, which she had agreed upon. Oh yes weirdo! I have a money-printing factory in Perak. Duh!

So far, I have decided not to find any new housemates. Since my working hour is now from 7am till late, it’d be best not to have anyone in the house. It’d be fun to come home, open up the door, and take off your shoes and head straight to lie down in front of the TV in the living room! But my decisions will definitely depend on my budget for the next 11 months. The project that I’m working on is scheduled for 3 years but my contract is for 1 year only since the 1st year is the most crucial phase of all. We’ll see how it goes.

Kimutaku and friends

Kimu now lives with 3 other friends from the unknown species. I went back to my hometown a few weeks ago for 2 days and what did I found when I came back? A fish corpse or whatever you call them. I suppose kimu and the gang were too hungry that they decided to eat the weakest link. After that day, I never look at them the same way before. I mean, who would have thought, well, I would never have thought that they would eat each other. They are fish for god sake! If cats, then it’d be a different story.

Anyway, they are fine and live healthily. I’m now counting the days for the third month now. Hopefully none would be killed anymore.


Wangi jadi saksi

And to kill you Jebat,mybrother,is just not me - excerpts from wangi jadi saksi

Siapa itu Wangi? LRT Dang Wangi? Muahahahaha

With big names like Khalid Salleh, Khir Rahman, Dato’ Rahim Razali and Vanidah Imran in this theater, one would make a big mistake not to catch it. Got the invitation from Nazrul and I missed it due to the meeting that started at 7pm (my boss likes to have the team meeting at 7pm which means that one needs to run away from the office at 6pm sharp if one already have an appointment with friends so that the boss would schedule the meeting tomorrow) and ended at 8.30pm. But I was invited by Fadz to watch it on Friday and boy I was glad that I got out early and the boss missed me.

In Wangi Jadi Saksi we have Wangi, as Jebat's lover that have to deal with the truth behind the murder of Jebat.Khalid Salleh was outstanding as Pateh Kerma Wijaya. Vanidah Imran has definitely proved her capabilities to shine as perempuan melayu terakhir not only in the movie with the same title but in wangi jadi saksi too. Well, I don’t know how to review it with all the technical terms and metaphors, so on and so forth, and I shall leave that to Fadz but I strongly believe that this theater should be staged in Istana Budaya after this. I think I had enough of musical theatre there this year.

Do all the donkeywork, ladies!

It’s almost 2 months now that I’m involved in the project. It’s kind of interesting but one thing for sure; the downside of it would be the long hours. I have started with the new working hours, 7am till late which most of the times at midnight for almost 2 weeks now. After the 6th days my body just refused to work and I decided to come home at 5pm and I slept from 6pm until 5am the next day.

It was hard at first to get up every morning at 5am and get to work at 6.30am. After a while it is kind of cool because there’s no traffic and you when you get to the office it is all but peace and quiet. But good things wouldn’t last for long. There’s one loud soul who calls me honey that comes to the office at 7.30am every morning that always manage to ruin my day. How I wish I could just make myself invisible!

The works is same-o-same-o but the office mates are not as interesting as those in my previous department. Everyone seems to be glued to their workspace and not that friendly. Even worst I have 2 secretaries and 1 assistant that always fight with each other and I would have too much of dramas in one day. One is the miss-know-it all, one is I-don’t-know-how-to-do-my-work-but-I-couldn't-care-less-as-long-as-my-boss-loves-me and the last one is the everyone-got-big-pays-but-I-have-to-do-all-the-shitty-jobs-and-will-complaint-everything-to-kekure. Enough said.

2 data entry clerks that do all the boring jobs for me come to work at 9.30am, leaves at 6pm and will take 2 hours break on every Friday annoys me as much. I gave one of them some data that needed to be recorded on that very day since I have to send in the report the next day. And guess what? She just left early because I’m married and my husband’s waiting for me. I would die of heart attacks if this should continue for one year.

With all the attacks and holocausts in the MidEast lately, it reminds me of the book We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With our Family. In the book it was said that The US refused to use the word genocide to address the situation in Rwanda though thousands of people had been killed.

Based on that, I suppose the word attacks is used instead of war because we are in denial. Is it that hard to admit that there is another war going on?

Frequently asked questions

In everyday life, we need to communicate with other humans as well as some bollocks and a few aliens that cross our path. During the daily verbal communications, we are repeatedly asked with the same questions over and over again that sometimes you wish that you could put a spell on the person and make her mouth disappears. For instance, when we read the tabloid magazine we could always see that there’d be quite a lot of morons that happened to be journalists and ask the same artist the same questions over and over again. Thus we bound to read the same facts about the same artist in different magazines i.e. what’s his favourite colour and what’s his favourite food.

So here are some FAQs and a few statements that I have to answer or argue when people either get to know that I work in the company that I’m working in now or my interests. The questions and answers provided by no means should be classified as racism statements.

Is it true that French smell like fish? (This happens to be the most famous questions asked especially by those who happened to have a bad experience in the bus or lrt with the tourists)

What I know of is that they are not so fond of seafood. While there would be one or two that would smell like stinky socks even from meters away, I should say that in general they smell ok. With an exception of a few that smell really nice with their after-shave and perfume.

Which one is better in the look department: French, Spanish or Italian? (Asked by a few girls who love to watch telenovela on TV)

As for today, I should say that it’s definitely Spanish (based on the latest addition in my former department) LOL. One thing for sure the French and the Italian that I familiar with really know how to choose good chocolates!

French have the best pick up lines, right?

For this question, I definitely don’t have any ideas since none of them have ever tried to pick me up. LOL

How could you concentrate on your work while you are surrounded with people who have a very sexy accent?

Sexy? Iz diz for rrreal? I can’t really tell. But when I joined the department I wish I could have a translator because I hardly understand them. Thank god that I’m still in one piece!

How do you kill the fish?

I just don’t know. Like my first experience with Norlia and Ghani, I happened to overfeed them and they ended up death with the sin of gluttony. The rest of them just died without any scientific explanations. Maybe I should call Grissom from the CSI to help me out. But then it’d be hard since most of them had been flushed down the toilet!

Why do you have more than 3 pairs of shoes?

I need 1 shoes for my lazy days, 1 shoes for my weekends, 1 sneakers for exercising which I don’t use that much though I always remind myself to. Come to think of it, I know deep down I want to be the next Imelda Marcos.

How could you still live with your weird housemate?

Though we only speak about 100 words a month which consists of several phrases like: Jemput makan (Bon appetite) and Akak balik kampong minggu ni (I’m going back to my hometown this weekend), along with her hideous tactic to make me take the garbage out by putting the garbage in the plastic bag and leave it on my shoes though it is her turn to take them out I could still bear with her. The sole reason? It’s the cheapest place with a very convenient access to the public transportation!

You’re still studying are you? I always see you reading in the LRT station (asked by a moron in my new department who bump into me occasionally in the lift or LRT station)

As typical as it seems, some Malaysians thought that we read only while we are still studying. One doesn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that reading is the key to knowledge. Talking about reading, I happened to read an interview with the National Library’s Director General in the Star last Sunday. I just can’t make up what to say about him but I suppose I shall let you guys read the snippets of the interview and tell me what’s your opinion.

How many books are in the new wing?
I am not sure.More books..maybe three times the number in the old area.

You also have a nice new roof! How much did it cost?
More than RM5mil.

How much did the new books in the new wing cost?
I’m not very sure, but very much more than what we spent the year before.

Updates on my quest to become an aquarist

I have killed the seventh fish today. Lucky 7 or what?

If you want to support the government's campaign on buying the original CD and your money is just enough to buy 1 CD, then the CD to buy should be Sergio Mendes latest album, Timeless. It's worth every penny!

Please Baby Don’t - Sergio Mendes ft John Legend

Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I (honey I)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
I've been cruisin down this road for a while now,
I should tell the truth...
Girl you've been so good to me but I know
I'm no good for you
You should run while you can
Find yourself a better man
'Cause I'm known for brief romance
And breakin hearts across the land
Yes I've been known to have a few temptations
Out there on the road
And let's say hypothetically I've slipped and
Took a couple home
Girl I know that's not fair
You need someone who'll be there
So just get away before it's too late
and you're pain is too much to bear
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
(rhodes piano solo)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I'm (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Now on second thought maybe we'll give
This love another try
'Cause I can't see you with no one else
I'm selfish I can't lie
So let's go, let's go slow
You know all you need to know
It could end one day but
Let's just say we'll see how far it goes
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me
Please baby don't (baby don't)
You know my history
See honey I'm (honey I'm)
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you)
Please baby don't (baby don't)
Don't fall in love with me

Kimutaku and friends

Great news! Kimutaku and friends have survived until today at 8.30am. But I have also murdered another 2 gold fish in the last 2 weeks. I believe that the best thing that one experience as an aquarist is during the feeding frenzy. My fish are now already tame and they’d be swimming like mad whenever they see me home.

Dying to write more but am too busy with the hand over.

Will write more about my quest to become an aquarist.

The saga shall continue, soon!

"Tears And Rain" - James Blunt
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.

How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.

I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

My life as an aquarist

A friend from TSC dubbed me as a goldfish serial killer. For the record so far there were 6 goldfish murdered by me. The first pair, Norlia a.k.a Tora and Ghani a.k.a Taro bought from Pasar Pudu by my fave someone had gone to meet their maker due to overfeeding.

After a few days of mourning I decided to buy a new pair, which had been named as Sushi and Sashimi by their godfathers, David and Nico. Sashimi didn’t last that long, only a few days and I determined not to let Sushi living alone in the aquarium. Mikey had a little journey with me to KLCC and was introduced to several friends from TSC. Together with Sushi, they both were sent over to stay with a friend for a couple of days since I had to go back to my hometown. I thought they would live longer this time since this friend of mine has a better record as the aquarist. Alas, he sent me the sms informing me that both Sushi and Mikey were found dead in the aquarium. I went to Pasar Pudu again with the experienced aquarist and bought myself a pair of goldfish and 5 fish that I don’t know what the species is but I bought them because they were on sale. I proudly named the goldfish as Kimutaku and Yutaka. Yutaka died and went to heaven after 4 days at home.

Due to my bad track records with fish, a few guys had agreed upon that I shall not be trusted with their kids if they happened to have one since I might kill them unintentionally.

Kimutaku has survived the first week together with 5 small fish. I shall keep you guys update on my quest to become a successful aquarist. In the meantime, I suppose i just enjoy the view at Aquaria instead.

Suasana poyo di pagi Selasa

Selimut Hati - Dewa 19

Aku kan menjadi malam malam mu..
Kan menjadi mimpi mimpi mu..
Dan selimuti hatimu..
yang beku..
Aku kan menjadi bintang bintang mu..
Kan s’lalu menyinarimu..
Dan menghapus rasa rindumu..
yang pilu..
AKU BISA UNTUK MENJADI..
APA YANG KAU MINTA..
UNTUK MENJADI APA YANG KAU IMPIKAN..
TAPI KU TAK BISA MENJADI DIRINYA
Aku kan menjadi embun pagi mu..
Yang menyejukkan jiwamu..
Dan membasuh hatimu..
yang layu
Tinggalkan sejenak lalumu..
Beri s’dikit waktu..
Kepadaku..
tuk meyakinkan mu..

4 dreadful days to go

Sugar Coated Life

I wish someone would be wearing orange shirt or bring some oranges to the office today so I could have a valid reason to slam someone’s head into the wall. If I were caught red handed while slamming this person’s head I’d just say that I feel hostile after seeing the colour orange.

Since I really am bored to death and tired of making some mind maps just to understand my life situation, I decided to come up with some trivia about myself.

Trivia 1.

I hate knives

Not a lot of people know that I am not good in using sharp objects. Not only because my parents never let me used them when I was growing up but also because I had a very traumatic experience when I was in the boarding school.

It was a very fine Sunday morning and I at that time was listening to the countdown on my Walkman with a good friend of mine when I suddenly heard something. “ I just can’t take it anymore! I don’t want to live! Why did you leave me?”. Indeed it sounded like a normal TV script you might say since I am watching some stupid soap while typing this. I just can’t think of a better line so I just copied whatever it is on telly. Anyway, back to the story. My friend and I saw that one of our dorm mates was holding a knife and trying hard to slit her wrist. My friend whom I shall name as W (real identity won’t be revealed since it’d be the end of me if she happens to find out about this) screamed as loud as she could while I was still trying to understand why in the world would she used a vegetable knife to slit her wrist and how long would it takes to slit her wrist using that knife.

W and I tried to persuade her to put the knife down. I was a bit proud of myself at the time after realizing that hours spent on watching the Hong Kong Police Story mini series had finally paid off. She was somewhat reluctant and started to wave her hands around. Next thing I knew W took a bottle of mineral water and splashed it to her. I really should have stabbed W instead since I fell because of the slippery floor. W, you should feel lucky that I didn’t do so. It wasn’t a successful attempt since the girl had grabbed W’s hands instead. The last things that I remembered were that I had slapped her up and punch her head and left some nasty bruises that remained for a week.

We found out later on that her boyfriend died in a car accident some weeks before and she just couldn’t handle it. Moral of the story: vegetable knife is a deadly weapon.

Trivia 2

I can’t use matches.

I almost burnt my house down when I was six because I burnt some papers on the kitchen floor; some of the papers flew and fell on the kitchen top and I jumped with joy because I managed to light the match. It burnt some plastic in the process and Dad smelt the smoke. He took the water hose and tried to stop it from spreading. Dad took out his cane and voila a few marks were left on my palms and butts for my little experiment with matches on the kitchen floor. That was the first and the last time that I ever had that sort of punishment. Thank God!

Trivia 3

My parents almost reported me as a missing person

It was a very important mission for me. It was to win the biggest hamper in the Family Day of my housing area. And the event was the cross-country, but in this case it would be crossing the housing area. My family was cheering up for me when I was at the starting line. I was waving to them with my miss world’s wave when I suddenly heard Dad screamed to me, “start to run for god sake “ when I realized that everybody else was already running like some mad cows in Britain. Not that we had any mad cows disease at that time of my life.

I somehow managed to catch up with the leading group and when I passed by the first post the guy who was guarding it who happened to be my neighbour radioed my Dad and told him that I had passed through him. Suddenly it occurred to me that wouldn’t it be nice if I just go home, grab something to bite and take a nap right after that. I tried to find the way to go home and the thought of winning the hamper was replaced with the thought of having a refreshing home made air bandung . Out of nowhere I saw my neighbour who lived next to my house was riding his bike and I asked him to give me a lift. He was somewhat reluctant since I was still in the race. I told him that it was nature’s call and I definitely had to answer it because I don’t want to get any bladder infections and I was still young and I still need to use my bladder for a very long time compared to him.

After 3 minutes of hard labour to convince him, I managed to get a lift and it was jolly good to find that my granny had made me my favourite air bandung. Muahhahahaaa! I did what I planned earlier on and had one of the best naps ever. I went back to the event by hitching a ride on someone’s bicycle and Mum came to me after seeing me happily chatting with the winner of the big hamper at the closing ceremony.

She told me that the family got worried after knowing that all the participants had finished the race but me. A few hours after that while they almost made a police report that I was missing during the cross country event, my neighbour went back to the event and told them that I was safe and sound at home.

Till today, I never finish any cross-country event that I participated during my school years.

High - James Blunt

Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I'd rather wake up and see with you.

Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.
But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again.
Do you remember the day when my journey began?
Will you remember the end of time?

Beautiful dawn - You're just blowing my mind again.
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.
High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me

Mondayitis

I shall apologies to those who keep refreshing my blog for the past few weeks to see whether I have updated my blog. Thanks to TMNET technicians who took about a month to settle the line problem, I now could blog again at 7am onwards since my geeky housemate have to download amazing race 9 every night. Sheesh!

One thing that I really sure that I couldn’t do in my life as a human or 7 lives if I happened to be cursed to be a cat is to play politics. The politics in the office is really devastating at the moment that I myself can’t understand the situation that I’m in. At first the management decided not to continue with my contract, then when I got another opportunity they finally made up their mind. They played silly buggers, which made me stressed the whole week! Anyhow, until today I am not certain what really is happening. It sort of like being in a sick cycle carousel and you are on the verge of throwing up but you can’t because you are afraid of heights and you can’t move your body at all and you had to stop yourself from thinking about throwing up by thinking about how good it is to have a cup of hot chocolate instead.

As a consequence of this post-traumatic stress disorder from the not so encouraging situation, I ended up making some terrible in-jokes with the intention of pulling someone legs. But for now I think I wouldn’t touch something with a ten-foot pole. I suppose I need to study the Monty Python before I start making jokes again.

I would be in a black mood every time I heard the song by Ne-Yo - So Sick. God I am so sick of your song! Somebody please kill the song!

A little promo for Fadz http://tontonfilem.blog-city.com//

Get his first book, a sci- fi Malay book to exact, which has been published by Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka that entitled Jian. He wrote the book when he was 17 but what a grand idea that he had at that time of his life. So grab one yourself at RM10 only. Support local publications!

Such is LIFE!

The streamyx connection in my house area is useless and the service is having a major problem for a week now. Maybe I should send TMNET a complain letter and ask for a discount rate since I couldn’t use the service for the time being.

After living like a walking time bomb waiting to explode for a week, I now feel much better. Though I do hope that a few people that have contributed to making me feel so pissed off last week wouldn’t even get near me. But it was such a ridiculous thought since one of them is now seated in the room next to my cubicle. Darn!

As I am now counting the days before my contract ends, I feel much happier and relieved. The best thing is that I have more time to blog in the office. It’s not that I don’t have anything to do but I keep thinking, why should I be doing all the works when I can just past it to my replacement. LOL.

Knowing that I’ll no more working here brings such an ultimate joy, which could only be understood by those who have sent in their resignation letter. Below are the guides to spot those that have tendered their resignation letter.

1) Radiant skin due to 8 hour sleep daily since they don’t have to worry much about datelines etc
2) Obvious changes in behavior. The person who always so mundane and comes to work early would suddenly become a chatty person and come to work at 10 am and goes home at 6pm.
3) Always not at their desk since they are busy spending some quality time with their friends in other cubicles.
4) Long breaks, usually stretches for more than 2 hours for lunch and additional tea break at 4pm – 5pm on top of 2 hours of lunch breaks.
5) Clean desk (mine is still messy but it’ll be shiny and spotless, soon!)

On the other note, I would kill a few people from the office soon if they don’t stop asking me whether I have landed myself a new job!

I’m back to square one

My contract is not going to be extended. Being ridicule optimistic like I am could bring a hell lot of hazard to your health. I believed in every bullshits told by the directors, for 3months. That was enough to prove how ridiculous I could be, most of the time. A week before my contract ended, I asked my director again about my position. He told me that the contract is not going to be extend, thus advising me to find another job for my own sake.

Well, what really pisses me off are
1) He didn’t make any effort to tell me about the situation. I was only told about it when I asked and he didn’t have any other choice but to tell me since it was only one week away from the contract expiry date.
2) All the lies that I had been told for the last 3 months.
a)Oh yes! Don’t worry! We’ll take care of everything. Well definitely extend your contract. (I have heard about it since mid Jan 06)
b)I am doing my best to get you a permanent position. The latest in Q2. ( Been repeated since Dec 05)

So sue me for being such an idiot!

Wake up in your birthday suit

I am really bad in remembering anyone’s birthday. So far, I could only remember 5 other birthdays apart from mine. After the incident of me missing my mum’s birthday I made a vow that I will try to remember every birthday that incur from April onwards.

So I decided to celebrate in advance of two birthdays coming up in April this week. I’ve bought the present for one of them and gave it to the person as an early birthday gift, in case I forgot. Hopefully, I won’t miss any after this.

An advance birthday wish to those whose oing to celebrate their birthday in April.

Work

What would you feel when :

1) Your boss has started to complain that he’s tired of fighting a losing battle for your contract?

2) Somebody who is not that competent doubt your capability to do things when you know that the key to be efficient is by prioritizing your tasks?

3) People tend to delegate their tasks to you and label it as doing favors instead?

4) You smell that something really fishy is going on and everybody knows about it but you?

5) You won’t trust somebody as far as you could throw the person

Touched by an Angel

We, unaccustomed to courage

exiles from delight

live coiled in shells of loneliness

until love leaves its high holy temple

and comes into our sight

to liberate us into life.

Love arrives

and in its train come ecstasies

old memories of pleasure

ancient histories of pain.

Yet if we are bold,

love strikes away the chains of fear

from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity

In the flush of love's lightwe dare be brave

And suddenly we see

that love costs all we are

and will ever be.

Yet it is only love

which sets us free.

Maya Angelou

Post Mortem

Since the two wars seem to have to come to an end, I suppose it’d be good if we could do some post mortem on the wars. Please be informed that the posting is based on my 16 years old psychological analysis. So please bear with my asinine comment on these two wars that thank to god had finally ended. Perhaps, in both cases it is forgiven but definitely not forgotten.

War 1 – Cold War

Cause of War

My posting “on human”.

Pre – war

Someone read it and got off track.


War

Received malicious e-mail and silent treatment came up next. I made lots of phone calls to the sisterhood support group to deter myself from running amok and tried to kill this person with a stapler. Lost a few good night sleeps and ended up being a zombie at work. Almost hit the person’s head with a heavy 4” file but decided not to after realizing that I don’t have enough money to pay for the medical expenses and to hire a lawyer.

Post War

Cleared the air and things back to normal, I suppose.

Lessons learnt from the war

Silent treatment could kill
Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me


War 2 – Great War

Cause of War

Out of tiredness because of lack of sleep I said something really nasty to my favourite someone. Darn!

Pre – war

My fave someone hung up even before I even finished talking.

War

The worst treatment of all: The silent treatment, which I really have no idea on how to handle it let alone to go through it. My phone calls and SMS-es were not answered and it certainly gave me a very good reason to lose my sleep. Man, I really am not good in handling crisis.

Post War

I had to endure the sarcastic remarks due to the nasty words that had been uttered which I suppose would etched in my brain for the rest of my life. Things seem to be back to normal though it is certainly poignant to think that this person will no longer be around.

Lessons learnt from the war

Always bite your tongue
Never pick an argument with a Capricorn if you are a Sagittarian LOL

I need a smart drug

This is another entry about my complaint on life. If you happen to be following negative free life then please stop reading my blog. I definitely wouldn’t want to be held responsible if you have such symptoms like nosebleed, hemorrhage and hallucination. Please read at your own risk.

I had a very dreadful week last week, the worst so far I might say. I had been thought to be showing someone in a bad light though it was without a doubt not my intention whatsoever. I had to endure a cold war, which I undoubtedly loathe. I didn’t sleep well for a few nights and I added a few spoonful of salt to the disaster by rubbing someone in a very wrong way. It was definitely the Great War between both of us. Just imagine what I had to go through! If I were to be given an alternative between living with these two wars in my head and cleaning up Zoo Negara for a week, I would have opted for the second choice without any hesitation though I might want to quit if I happen to be instructed to clean up the lion’s cage.

It has been a week since I slowly recovering from the cold war but I am still helpless in the Great War though I have tried mostly everything to clear the air. I thought that I might put up a public apology in all the mainstream newspaper but I certainly can’t afford to do so. Besides, I am not sure whether the person reads newspaper daily and it’d be a waste if the person never comes across it. One thing for sure, I’d definitely lose my sleep until I finally get to put an end to the war that I never thought might occur after all those things that happened to me earlier that week. Come to think of it, I might as well eligible to become a drama queen after all the things that happened to me.

But every cloud has a silver lining. Eventually.

Book

I have vowed before not to step into Kinokuniya or Borders until I finish all the books that have been stacked for almost forever. But after all the terrible things that happened last week I had to calm myself down by having some retail therapy session with my girlfriends. Thus, I ended up buying second hand books, which always is a value for your money and a few others from Kinokuniya. Sigh

One of the books that I bought is Generation A Collection of Contemporary Malaysian Ideas by Amir Muhammad, Kam Raslan and Sheryll Stothard. The book is strikingly orange which I suppose was a very good choice since it was the color that made me wanted to pick it up. It sort of walking down the memory lane when you read this book since the essays were written based on the current events and observations done in 1994 – 1997. If you happened to be born during the 60’s and 70’s you could make up for your lack of knowledge on the current issues at that particular time where you were sort of dealing with your raging hormones and could never care more for the world except when New Kid’s On The Block decided to disband or when everybody have seen Trainspotting but you. Please read it and support local publications.

Family

I had no idea that I missed my mum’s birthday, by 3 days. My nephews and niece told her that I’d be coming back to celebrate the special occasion which had resulted her doing all the preparation to cook my favorite dish. So to not disappoint her though I felt like wanting to strangle my nephews and niece for making up such story, I rushed to get the bus ticket, was soaking wet in a very heavy rain on my way back to the office and was late to Puduraya that night. And I thought the bad thing would stop coming afterwards. I had been chased by a dog while walking in a pitch-dark lane on my way home while my mum taking her own sweet time to open up the gate. This is what happened when you trust your mum so much even when she said that you have the best art project in school when you know that she had been lying through her teeth. She told me that the dog had been shot by the Enforcement Officer after all the complaints that had been lodged against the owner. The very next morning she told me that she forgot that they were only able to shoot its offsprings but not the mother. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

We had a small party, a very delicious chocolate cake written with happy birthday dear mum that brought some tears to her eyes and lots of satay. Yummy! Kojeh felt terrible since this was the first time that she ever forgot mum’s birthday and she decided to buy lots of satay to make up for this. A smart move I reckon. No pressure on me because I always got confused between 14 March and 14 April and mum knows about it long before.

Mum decided to have another operation on her eye. She asked me whether I would be willing to take care of her. I told her that I totally agree to do so but with a few conditions: she shall let me wander around town and I could always go to the washroom without having to inform her first. She was ok with it, without any hesitations. Darn! I should have asked for a home theatre!



Beggarly Heart

When the heart is hard and parched up,

come upon me with a shower of mercy.

When grace is lost from life,

come with a burst of song.

When tumultuous work raises its din on all sides shutting me out from

beyond, come to me, my lord of silence, with thy peace and rest.

When my beggarly heart sits crouched, shut up in a corner,

break open the door, my king, and come with the ceremony of a king.

When desire blinds the mind with delusion and dust, O thou holy one,

thou wakeful, come with thy light and thy thunder

Rabindranath Tagore

Let's work like a Trojan!

The devil finds work for idle hands

So we had the most anticipated team meeting last week, well at least for me and a few other people who thought that they could have sometime off from work by attending the meeting. It merely was to clarify about the scope of every team and the organization chart. It was supposed to give the team a better picture of what everybody else does and why they do it etc. As for me, I have more team to administer and it would means that I might need to strain every nerve to get my job done in time. Just imagine me as one the Orcs (a cleaner and prettier version, mind you) who does all Saruman’s dirty job but at the end of the day he’s still a grumpy old man who has a mid-life crisis and decides to put some grey highlight on his hair.

One thing about meeting is that it’d never start or finish on time. I happened to have one of the days where I had to be as busy as a bee. I was late for the meeting and had to stand with the rest of the gang. I happened to be standing next to this person who has a very special ability which all of us need to instill, sleeping while standing. He managed to fall asleep while standing without anybody realizing it when I suddenly felt that water had been dropping onto my shoe. I turned to my side and realized that his eyes were closed and water from his mug had been dropping out. I woke him up in a flash and he blurted out that he thought the mug was empty. Way to go man!

The thing is by giving me more team to administer it is suppose to lighten the burden that the other witch have to endure before. But even before the meeting ended, the witch had already made a point to me that she’d want me to assist her in administering her team which only consists of 10 people compared to mine which would be more than 30 people. I suppose if she insists on me to do so to the VP then the devil will definitely finds work for idle hands.


What a nuisance

I keep hearing these phrases for the past 2 weeks. We have plans for you; at the moment you’ll be responsible to fulfill the team’s needs. You don’t have to worry about your position and just continue whatever things you have been doing before.

Well, I don’t really worry whether I’d be a permanent staff for the time being since I know where I stand in this particular situation. But I just can’t understand what plan is there for me since nobody wants to elaborate on it. You know, it gives the same effect on your self esteem like when your mom says that you look just fine when you are having the bad hair day and based on the high level of trust on her, you go to school and try to act normal while everybody stares and try to convince themselves that you are not a zombie from The Land of the Dead and you hair just look like that because you are run out of hair mousse.

Book

A million thanks to Glenn for sending in the book through Habri“ Soe Hok Gie – Catatan Seorang Demonstran (Notes of a Demonstrator)”. This book has been the inspiration of the film Gie by Miles Films, which is now available on DVD in Indonesia. In spite of the fact that there’s a picture of Nicolas Saputra at the front cover (which I believe would make lots of girls want to have the book), there’s also a very meaningful line at the back of the book, “lebih baik diasingkan daripada menyerah pada kemunafikan (loosely translated as it’s better to be isolated than to conform to stupidity” which shows how sharp was his thinking. This book really is recommended to those who like me, still need to understand what patriotism means and trying to inspire their own self. Please be reminded that the book and the DVD are only available in Indonesia.


Peter Pan - tak bisakah

hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu

selalu slalu dalam hatikuku melangkah sejauh apapun itu

selalu kau di dalam hatiku
kuberjalan berjalan memutar waktu

berharap temukan sisa hatimu

mengertilah kuingin engkau begitu

mengerti kau di dalam hatiku
tak bisakah kau menungguku

hingga nanti tetap menunggu

tak bisakah kau menuntunku

menemani dalam hidupku
tak ada kau mencari hidupku

kemana kau tau isi hatiku

kutunggu sejenak aku disitu

jalanku jalan menemukanmu

On Human

Moving On

We human really are complex and because we are so complex we started to build up lots of shopping complexes just to show how complex we are. The best example of a very complex shopping complex is Berjaya Times Square. It's too big and not enough directories!Oh back to the issue on human.We have lots of feelings, lots of wanting and needs, etc. Some of us make decision based on logics and calculations that might have been presented in spreadsheets while a few of us just follow their gut feeling. At some phase of our life something bizarre might happened and we just can’t make any decisions and at this point we are stuck in between and afraid to move on.

I found out about a few people that I know of are afraid to move on after they failed in their love life and still hoping that they might been given the chance to have back their love and things will be normal or even better for themselves. One of these persons that I know of is the type of person that keeps things to himself. Don’t ask me how I know about him wanting to get back to his ex-girlfriend because I just know it. It really is sad to learn that he refuses to move on and denies other people’s chances to be a part of his new chapter in life. I just don’t understand why but perhaps things might be even better if he just leave the excess baggage and move on. IMHO, those that lost their family members but refuse to move on is slightly better than this type of people since their lost is irreplaceable.

Moral Values

I had an interesting conversation on value the other day. This particular person is so afraid that demonstration on the Danish cartoon would be held again at the building that I work in that she had a terrible dream about it the night before. Although she is a local but it seems like she has a shallow knowledge about how demonstration works in Malaysia. She thought that every demonstration would end up with people throwing objects towards the police and riots would begin. Typical thought I would say.

She mentioned to me that somebody from the office saw me with a group of bystander during the demonstration by the opposition political party a few weeks ago in front of my office building. I told her that I had been asked to join in but I believe it really is against my values. I never believe in anything about demonstration, not only about the purpose but also things that happens during the demonstration itself. I explained to this person that if Prophet Muhammad were still alive, he wouldn’t even care to have any demonstrations to show his protest against the cartoon. He would fight to instill the right Islamic values and only then we could become a strong community that could become all these obstacles.

Upon hearing this, she said to me that looking at the way I am and the finger showing incident to one of the witches before she is glad to know that it seems like I have an acceptable moral values and should be in the right track in life.

Again, this goes to prove the point that looks could be deceiving to some people and still the statement didn’t make any impact on my life.


Comments!

So I decided to write something about the comments left by the kind readers who left their messages on my comment box. Alas, I was not successful in getting any phone numbers from the single guys out there. Sob!Sob!

Bob, the network design guy from my office left this message :
Im so disappointed that im not in your blogroll....OUINNNNNNN

Congratulations Bob because you are the first colleague to leave your message on my blog. As a token of appreciation I have included your blog in my blogroll together with David, Nico and Francois.Yipppeeeee!

Oreo from http://excitingobservations.blogspot.com/
waa... that must have come after a period of self reflection

True indeed, I had spent the last two months of self-reflection in front of the mirror and I realized that I started to have crow's feet since I love to laugh a lot. So starting from today I shall minimize my laugh in order to stop the wrinkles from building up rapidly. If it starts to become worst then I shall l stop laughing altogether and will just show the placard that written Ha!Ha!Ha! It’s damn funny man!

Jules from http://x-eyedvision.blogspot.com/
my penjual vcd haram asked me "u sure you don't want a plastic bag?" after buying brokeback. why ah?

Jules, it’s so typical of Malaysian to just accept the plastic bag given after buying anything, let it from the penjual VCD haram or the fishmonger though we have about 10 plastic bags in hand with one of them might only have one cd in it. Perhaps, he was just perplexed to learn that you have refused to accept the plastic bag not like others. Way to go Jules! Save Mother Nature! Plastic bag not cool! or maybe he wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t want people to know that you bought cerita main belakang from him? Sort of keeping your reputation untarnished I suppose?

Where’s my food?

I had to manage a team who had their training in my office for 3 days in a row. I had to make sure that everybody happy which was not a very pleasant task. On the very last day of the training, I had ordered food enough for everyone and distributed the food accordingly. There were 2 participants who had to go out to settle something and I kept their food inside the fridge while waiting for them to come back. I happened to leave the pantry to make a phone call for 5 minutes and when I went back I found the 2 participants were perplexed right in front of the pantry entrance. I found out that their food went missing. Somebody then asked me whether I wrote down my name on the food wrapper and I bluntly replied no. So the answer given to me was: well, no wonder you lost your food since there was no name written on it! I knew it was my fault for not writing my name on it. But logically, with name or no name it’s not yours. Why would you want to take it in the first place?

LRT

It has been months since I last traveled by LRT on Sunday morning. Nothing much changed, I suppose after seeing an older man had to raise his voice to another young man to give up his seat on the LRT for an older woman. I believe that most of us would have seen the same scenario before. What have we become? Do we, Malaysians, have lost our courtesy and compassion towards others? The worst scenario that I have seen so far was a woman who had to hold her young baby with one arm while the other one was clinging to the pole during the morning peak hours. Nobody offered her a seat. Just imagine if you yourself had to endure the same scenario? Some of you might have lost the temper and screamed as loud as you can to get the seat. Well, I know I would. Do we need to have a moral police in the LRT who will make sure that the seats are given to those most in need?

Books

To all the bookworms out there, don’t forget to mark your calendar for the Kuala Lumpur International Book Fair, which is going to be held in Putra World Trade Centre (PWTC) on 24 March to 2 April 2006. Take a step forward to instill the reading habits and hopefully we won’t be in the lazy reader list any more.

I finally had the time to wrap all my books with the plastic wrap yesterday. It is one the habit that stays strong in me. The habit started with my mum who would always wrapped my books when I was young and when I became the school librarian the habit was already instilled in me. Officially I now have 11 books that I haven’t read! Wish I could take a month of just to finish these books!

It Itself Becomes Sign

The one to whom's unveiled the mystery of love

Exists no longer, but is annihilated in love.

Place before the sun a burning candle,

See how it's shining disappears before those lights:

The candle exists no longer, is transfigured into Light.

There are no more signs of it; it itself becomes a Sign.

Rumi - Odes

wazup kekure?

Tired and yawning every 20 seconds, but still I determine to update my blog.LOL.

I have heard enough lately. From compliments, statements, complaints, orders and not forgetting my routine: lending my shoulder for someone to cry on. I have started to think that I would soon be bananas if it continues to be like this for another week!

I was assigned to organize a farewell lunch party for a staff who is leaving the country soon. The best part was: I had been notified after lunch hour on Friday, which means that I had only about 4 hours to get a caterer and at the same time to collect some money to buy the gifts. The thought of having to shop on someone else’s expense was really alluring and I was motivated to accept the assignment with an open heart when things started to go wrong. First, nobody was willing to cater for us since it was such a short notice and besides I didn’t have a lot of budget to land myself the best caterer in town. Then a caterer was so certain that they could cater my party when suddenly they realized that the office is located at one of the busiest road in town! Finally, at 5.57pm I managed to get myself a caterer and finalized the menu in 10minutes. Yeay!

I had such a great time though actually I didn’t enjoy most of the minutes looking for the appropriate gift. I asked the person, what does he wants for the gifts and he said I don’t know. I was relieved to know that there is someone else out there that also doesn’t know what he wants. He asked me to ask from his friends, in case they have any ideas what he wants. It was such a dreadful decision since no one knows what he wants. Apart from that I was a bit stressful since I had to sort of prove to the other secretaries and administrators that I have a good eye. But after two shopping malls, the nastiest shopping trip began to be an acquired taste.

At last, I begged a very beautiful piece of keris as my first gift at Royal Selangor in KLCC. I didn’t know what to write on the plaque and ended up opting for Selamat Maju Jaya. Yes, I know it’s a bit like primary school motto during the graduation day but what the heck. At least I despised the idea of writing something really cheesy like we’ll miss you though none of us would really mean it. Bluwek! For the second gift, I decided to get him something more personal, which was the cufflinks. Well, I never had any experience in buying the cufflinks let alone knowing which one is easier to use whether the square or the oval. As a damsel in distress, I called up my ever-helpful cubicle neighbour, David to ask for his opinion. Merci to Monsieur David and a few great gals who were willing to wait on me while choosing the cufflinks. I finally managed to make up my mind after having to choose 1 out of 25 design. I had to spend 1 hour just to narrow down my choices from 25 to 1. Who said that shopping must be fun? It was fun for me having the satisfaction to shop with someone else’s money, but the terrible part would be to think whether the person would love the gift that you choose for them.

And came the big day! I almost stabbed the staff with a fork when he asked me whether the food would be enough as he was so confident that lots of people would turned up for the party. The truth was lots of people had to decline the invitation as they had some tenders and meetings going on at that time. Luckily, we had more than enough food and the other secretaries and administrators loved the gifts. Compliments were flooding in and yes I was blushing when a small number of people said that the party was very well organized. Hehehehe. But then I owe Nico an apology for I thought that he likes Air Bandung, which I had mistaken with Air Sirap. Yes, I know it really is odd to mix up between this two. What to do, for some reason lately I had slowly become a retard. Hehehehe. Perhaps, I should spend more time in the mamak’s kitchen so I’d be able to identify all the drinks.

For the past one week I had been thinking about what I want and I decided that it should be in several categories. So, these are what I want in:

Life

So far, I don’t really see what myself would be in another 2 years. Perhaps I would just go with the flow though my favourite companion has already planned everything, literally, for his life. What I really want is just a simple kind of life, maybe similar to what I’m having now but with the capabilities to shop without having to dig deep into my pocket. And yes, definitely more shoes, books and DVD.

Work

I definitely want a higher pay but with lesser responsibility! Better still if I could have the pay without ever having to come to work. Not forget to mention, my own room so I could just keep the door close if I don’t want to speak to anybody or too busy to have a chat, new chair with a brighter colour, new laptop with DVD burner so I could burn lots of DVD for my personal collection as well as supplying them to my friends, more food in the pantry together with a plasma TV in the conference room so we could watch the soccer match in case we have to work extra hours during the World Cup. I surely want to have a flexible working hours and no dress code. Well, don’t criticize me for being lazy to iron the shirt everyday, at least I make some effort to iron my shirt while trying hard not to burn my shirt while ironing!

Man

I sort of have a cockamamie idea about what type of man that I’d like to date. So after a few days thinking I finally identified the type. He must be willing to accept the fact that I am a weirdo. Well at least be grateful that I’m not a real bimbo whatsoever and should be able to read and reply my SMS no matter how silly it is. One of the great examples is: look at the moon! It really is beautiful. Can you see the witch flying with the broom? I just saw one who looked like a gremlin with lots of blings!.

If he could recite a few lines from Neruda or Rumi than it’d be a bonus point for him! Must love Tom Holt and Spongebob Squarepants! If he could sing Spongebob’s theme song then he definitely have better chances to be in the lead. One more plus point, should at least know how to cook a few main course and desserts. Better still if he could prepare rendang daging just like my mum’s and bread pudding. So, anybody with these criteria please leave your name and phone no at the comment box!

Friend

Just love me! That’s all I want from you. And please, don’t forget my birthday.

Movies

I have seen 4 movies in the past two weeks. The movies were Pink Panther, 9 Naga, Big Momma’s house and heirloom. It really was hilarious to see Jean Reno doing the slapsticks with Steven Martin in this movie. Beyonce looked stunning in her glamorous outfit, as usual. A definite no no for those who loathe slapsticks since the movie is definitely full of it.

What could I say about 9 naga? It had a really good storytelling which most Malaysian’s filmmakers seems to not have. Though it was quite slow and a bit philosophical, still I felt that it was worth every penny. Big Momma’s house 2 is definitely for those who scorn at Jean Reno for doing slapsticks in Pink Panther. Regardless of the fact that I was 15 minutes late for the movie, I know I could never like the movie no matter what since it was so predictable. For those who almost fainted after seeing heirloom’s trailer on TV, here’s some good news for you. The movie was not as scary as it seems to be. So please, feel free to watch it without having to hide beneath the jacket or closing your eyes for most of the movie.

Music

I must confess that I love all the songs in Puteri Gunung Ledang’s the musical. Based on that, my friend and I went to Istana Budaya to buy the CD’s as well as the poster, which is now hung in my cubicle that works as my stress reliever. Hahahaha. I suppose lots of girls will play the songs from the album before they go to sleep every night since Stephen- Rahman Hughes voice is definitely the music to your ear. My personal favourite would be Tinta Dewa since IMHO it has a very good music arrangement and the catchy tunes would definitely makes the music etch in your mind for a while.


Books

Lots of unread books in stock. No more trips to Kino and Borders!

My baby you - Marc Anthony

as i look into your eyes

i see all the reasons why my life's worth a thousand skies
you're the simplest love i've known
and the purest one i'll own know you'll never be alone
my baby you
are the reason i could fly
and 'cause of you i don't have to wonder
why baby you
there's no more just getting by
you're the reason i feel so alive
though these words i say are true
they still fail to capture you
as mere words can only do
how do i explain that smile
and how it turns my world around
keeping my feet on the ground
i will soothe you if you fall
i'll be right there if you call
you're my greatest love of all
arianna i feel so alive